


Like A Hurricane

by carolinka



Series: Like A Hurricane [1]
Category: Football RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Humor, M/M, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-02
Updated: 2015-12-21
Packaged: 2018-04-12 13:23:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 31,852
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4480871
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carolinka/pseuds/carolinka
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I am just a dreamer, but you are just a dream,<br/>You could have been anyone to me.</p><p>(Apparently students in Madrid and Barcelona need to bond. Via internet.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I know, lame but I wanted to read this and I remember reading somewhere "Write the fanfic you want to read." 
> 
> Title and summary are directly from Neil Young's song "Like A Hurricane".
> 
> Bold is Cristiano and regular is Lionel.

_Day 1_

**This is stupid.**

Well, hello, aren’t you a charmer?

**Don’t tell me I got a nerd who actually gives a shit about this project?**

Don’t tell me I got a jackass who probably won’t get into a university because he thinks giving teachers shit is cool?

**I def got a nerd. When I could have had a hot chick.**

What makes you think I’m not a hot chick?

**You are a dude. You stink like a dude.**

No, actually I’m a girl. Stick your prejudices in your ass.

**Don’t believe you. I have very good proof that you are actually a skinny and pale twink.**

It doesn’t matter for our project, does it?

**It actually does. You would know that if you bothered to read the papers. Apparently you are an incompetent nerd.**

Whatever. Shall we start? Early start, early finish.

**This is what I like to hear! Please go on.**

Good. We don’t need to make this hard for each other right? You start with your questions.

**I’d actually like to make this harder for you. It may have escaped your notice but we don’t have the chemistry darling.**

I may have noticed.

**GOOOOOOOD.**

**Question one: How long have you been living in Barcelona?**  

All my life. 

**That would be how many years?**

Seventeen.

**Loser. I’m eighteen.**

I’m feeling very ashamed of myself now. My parents should have fucked sooner.

**Don’t worry, I’ll get you your drinks. If you are really a hot chick.**

Am not. Not sorry to disappoint you but your guesses were on point. You just have to add awkward to that list.

**At least I know I’m very smart now. It’s a very special trait to know people’s appearance after texting two sentences to each other.**

Done?

**Yeah, I feel great. I am great.**

Another question please.

**Hmm. Do you have siblings, and if you do, their genders?**

Two brothers and a sister. Rodrigo, Matías, María Sol.

**I bet they are better looking than you.**

They are. You are really a psychic. Three please.

**Do you have your own room in your house?**

Is this a real question?

**Yes. I don’t really wonder anything about you so you can be assured I won’t ask anything that isn’t written on this paper.**

I share with my younger brother **.** And why are you being an asshole to me?

**Be an asshole back. I don’t care but I won’t change my personality to please some loser from fucking Barcelona.**

I feel like ‘fucking Barcelona’ part has something to do with the treble? Don’t you worry, maybe one day you’ll achieve it too.

**I’m not even going to answer to this pathetic question.**

You already did but hey, who is counting, right?

**I hope we never meet each other in real life.**

Agreed. That will only end in disaster because you know, you are a pig.

**Now that you agree, I might change my mind. Anyways, question 3. What’s the thing you like most about Barcelona?**

The spirit when Barca has a match.

**I almost thought you were going to say “many places to study my ass off”.**

**Question 4. What do you hate most about your city?**

Leaving it for holidays.

**Fuck off.**

Don’t stop on my behalf. I liked the earlier pace.

**But do wish me to go harder?**

QUESTION 5 DUMBSHIT.

**Fine, fine. You don’t react well to joking. I’m not surprised.**

What makes you think that it’s okay to make sex jokes to someone you don’t know?

**I know four things about you, while you know nothing. Which gives me permission to crack some jokes. But of course I don’t expect you to reach my level of brilliance.**

I am very disturbed and I feel very sorry for your parents and teachers.

**They think I’m perfect, thank you very much.**

I doubt that. Now would you please go on?

**Tell me to go faster or we will be here for a veeeeeeeeery long time.**

Are you fucking serious? This is sexual assault.

**Is it? Is it really?**

I hope you drown in your sleep today.

**Is that a threat?**

Yes. 

**Challenge accepted.**

God help me. Please go faster. 

**My friend!! Why didn’t you tell me earlier? Of course I will be faster when I’m asking you questions! Question 5: What’s your favourite outdoor activity?**

Football. 

(Logged off.)

***

_Day 2_

We were the last ones to finish yesterday and I have football in half an hour. Please show some understanding and don’t prolong this.

 **Then ask your questions.**  

Oh. Well. Okay. Do you like reading?

**Sometimes. I like fantasy and sci-fi but I don’t read classics or biography.**

Cool. How often do you go to cinema?

**I go if my friends ask me to. Other than that, I prefer to watch movies at home.**

Do you have pets?

**No.**

Wow, we are really going fast.

**And you are slowing us.**

Okay, fine. Do you have someone you can call your best friend?

**No.**

Are you lonely? 

**Never.**

I didn’t ask if you have people around you all the time. I asked you if you felt lonely when you have them around you.

**And I answered your question. You don’t actually think just because you don’t have friends, no one has either, do you?**

I have friends, asshole. (Message failed.)

**(Logged off.)**

_Day 3_

**Wake up asshole.**

Good to see you are back to your rude self. I thought you were actually sad yesterday.

**Cvjabcjwbvjvcfjd me??? Sad? Dear boy, I have to give you credit, you made me laugh out loud. I had a date. You were not the only one who had to hurry up.**

Don’t believe you. You were probably moping around somewhere because you couldn’t get your way about something silly.

**Dude, trust me, I got everything I wanted yesterday. And it was gooooood.**

I doubt it was as good to your partner if your personality is anything to go by.

**She screamed. But I won’t go into details and spare your virgin ears.**

I bet I had more sex than you in my life.

**Really? I doubt that is possible.**

I had a steady relationship for three years. We had been having sex at least three times a week. Can you top that playboy?

I see you are online. Come and play with me. I won’t make fun of you.

Hey, did you leave me to find someone to fuck?

**You are still waiting. You have been waiting for twenty minutes. And you were right my dear, some hot blonde jerked me off. I’m not even bragging.**

Still not close to me. Besides it’s not like I have anywhere else to go. We have our laptops in our classes. But I guess you have laptops only in your ‘laptop rooms’.

**I’m just going to ask my questions dude. Who’s your favourite singer?**

Neil Young.

**Who the fuck is that? Anyways, who was your idol growing up?**

Ronaldinho.

**You are so fucking predictable. He is basically everyone’s idol. But since you are a basic bitch, I find it normal.**

Do you really have friends?

**I know it comes as a surprise that anyone could resist my beauty and think me only as a friend.**

Just ask your freaking question.

**Your biggest insecurity?**

Uh, my appearance?

**How offended you were by my earlier insults?**

Why, are you going to apologise?

**No, I’m just going to use it as a weapon. Who do you think I am, a decent person?**

You are a douche.

**Thank you. Do you like cats or dogs?**

Both but dogs are better.

**I’m ashamed but we have something in common. I have to hide this real well.**

This makes two of us. We should be careful, or we might enjoy these conversations one day.

**Let’s not exaggerate. I’m a cool person.**

No, you are a douche with daddy issues. 

**Can I call you daddy?**

Only if you are a good girl.

**This is creepy.**

You started it. And ask your damn question!

**Oh! So! You! Are! Using! Exclamation! Marks! Now! What’s! Your! Favourite! Drink!**

Tequila. 

**Do you want me to write it down? Since you are not legal you know.**

Then it is warm milk with honey.

**Suits you better. Do you bite your nails?**

Only when I’m nervous.

**We’re done. See you later bitch.**

**(Logged off.)**

_Day 4_

I was warned that I was supposed to learn your name first.

**Cristiano the Beast.**

I knew you were actually ugly.

**I’m anything but ugly.**

Well, I’m going to see you in a month. I’ll be the judge of that.

**I don’t suppose you would last a minute in my presence. Too much hotness you had never experienced? So what is your name?**

Lionel.

**You are really a dude.**

I am deeply sorry.

**It’s okay, if you know how to suck a cock.**

I’d get gangbanged before I sucked you.

**Whoa whoa whoa. Don’t get your knickers in a twist. That could be arranged if that is what gets you off.**

Shut up. Your proudest moment?

**When I was nine or ten, my mom left me and my sister alone in home because she had to take my dad to hospital. And we did our best to make sure home was clean, homework was done and things like that you know. She literally cried out of happiness there and I don’t know, nothing has been as good since then.**

To be honest I’m impressed by your answer. I expected something like nailing the school’s hottest chick.

**That would be my second biggest achievement.**

Congratulations. How would you describe yourself in three words?

**Hot, charming, handsome.**

Please be serious or I’m going to write asshole, bully, shitty.

**Can’t have that. Ambitious, attractive, friendly.**

This is the best I’ll get I believe, so I won’t ask for a more objective answer. How would you describe Madrid in three words?

**Alive, home, belonging.**

**No scratch alive, write lots of hot girls.**

That’s four words.

**Nerd.**

Do you want to start a family?

**I already have one and I have no intention of starting another. And I don’t think my opinion will easily change. Maybe if I have to bless the world with my genes.**

You are unbelievable. Are you in a relationship now?

**Nope. I’m just letting the ladies have a piece of me.**

Cristiano my dear, I hope you have a horrible day.

(Logged off.) 

 _Day 5_  

It pains me to say this but you were right. This project is plain stupid.

**Took you long enough to see it. But we will have to be happy that quarter of this torture is almost over.**

Two days without talking to you. Sounds like heaven.

**I knew you had nothing to look forward to.**

I’m sure what you are looking forward to is some pool party. Lame.

**How the fuck did you know that?**

A friend told me you guys were going to have it at someone’s house. Sergio was it? I’m also told he is a git.

**He is one of my best friends. And well he is damn rich so it’s his house.**

I’m not surprised he is your friend.

**Do you guys really gossip about us? I knew you were losers but this is too much.**

No we don’t. I especially, don’t have any particular information to give. You are boring.

**I’m not offended. I’d rather be boring in your eyes than us having similar tastes in fun. So Leo, do you have a best friend?**

Yes. And don’t call me that.

 **I’d rather not call you anything but we can’t have everything we want. Even me. What’s his name?**  

Her. Antonella.

**Lololololol do you have female friends? Good for you. Anyways. Do you have tattoos or piercings?**

I have both.

**Illegal. I don’t approve.**

**What’s your favourite vacation?**

I think I’d rather go to a quiet mountain house these days. Where it’s cool and I don’t sweat.

**I see, you don’t want to be seen with a swimsuit on. Clubbing or candle night dinner?**

Clubbing. And don’t made assholish comments. I don’t like romantic shit.

 **When have I ever? If money were no object, what would you do all day**?

Probably get some massage, then sleep. 

**Do you really blame me when I say you are boring?**

Honestly no, you are kinda right. Good thing I like people who are like me, I couldn’t bear getting out everyday.

**What’s the most daring thing you have done?**

I ran away from home. Literally. They found me a week later.

Hey.

That’s six questions,

**Find out which one wasn’t necessary Leo.**

**(Logged off.)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There might be parts where it doesn't make sense because this site is deleting some lines for some reason I don't know. But if you realise something like that, please inform me. 
> 
> Other than that, enjoy!

**Day 6**

**This weekend passed too quickly for me to appreciate it.**

Take a guess.

**What?**

Guess what I know about you?

**How am I supposed to know?**

Oaky okay so I saw your pics. I saw your naked ass. You are not that hot lmao I thought you were something else after all those things you’ve said.

**You are fucking lying.**

No. You have a traitor there. You looked ridiculous. Alcohol is not for you.

**I don’t mean that, smartass. I don’t even remember half of the night. I meant that you are well aware that I am hot. You are just saying that to annoy me**

You wish. That boy with tattoos was much better. And he isn’t even a 6.

**That’s Sergio.**

Oh the jerk I remember

**You’ve grown more annoying in two days.**

No its just I though you were hot now that I know you are not I see no reason to be nice

**Are you gay**

You got a problem with it?

**No**

**there is no need to be defensive out of blue just because I asked you just chill**

**and anyways my two best male friends are fucking so I really cant be**

Join them. You might catch some of their hotness.

And I am not gay. I just tested you

Anyways

Is your room tidy or messy

Actually this is really a funny question but you wont get it

**Probably some inside joke between you and your little friends**

No it’s just me. No one finds it funny but me.

**Oh god I am embarrassed behalf of you. I am an organised person so tidy.**

Don’t get into details I don’t care.

**You know what I like you better this way**

Going back to being nice asap. Have you ever colored your hair?

**Yes. Blonde.**

Omfg it must have been horrifying you have tan skin where do you get the confidence

**I thought you were going to be nice again**

I lied. Are you on any teams or in any clubs in your school? If so which ones?

**Football.**

I bet you are the bench warmer.

**I am the top goal scorer of the competition I’m in**

Do you play with ninth graders or something

**No but they are actually as short as you**

Don’t let my height fool you, I make it up for it in other areas

**Are you really implying your dick is big? This is so embarrassing**

Are you really sure you aren't gay? I find it suspicious that it is the first thing that crossed your mind

**Straight guys think a lot about dicks.**

Not other guys’ dicks

But do me a favour and read these tomorrow eh? It might me insightful for you.

**Will you stop trying to prolong this conversation?**

Like I enjoy talking to you. Were you named after anyone?

 **My father**.

Predictable. If you saw your best friend’s boyfriend/girlfriend kissing another person would you tell them?

**Of course.**

I’m sure you lack the grace to do it tho.

**You know nothing Leo.**

If your 15-year-old daughter came home pregnant how would you handle it?

**I fucking don’t want children. Ever.**

Just answer the damn question.

**Dude this is really a weird question. I mean I probably would have wanted her to abort but wouldn't say anything about it if she didn't ask. Also she wouldn't be able to leave house without adult companion. Until she is like thirty.**

Wouldn't you carve the guys eyes out?

**Well I thought that part was obvious.**

Are we agreeing on something?

**This chat must end immediately**

**(Logged off.)**

Day 7

You remind me of Dima Bilan.

**Who the fuck is that**

Search it on youtube. I’m waiting.

**He better not be a porn star.**

Nah just watch you’ll see my point.

How is it going?

**I’ve watched four videos but I still don't see your point**

Oh he just reminded me of you

**How exactly did you find me and this moron alike**

Dramatic and arrogant. Thinks he is hot but actually not

**How long have you been planning this conversation Leo**

The whole morning. But you see it right?

**I really want to see a photo of you**

**So take a dirty picture for me**

Are you using taio cruz lyrics?

**And you know it. Which one of us should be more ashamed?**

I think it is time for you to start asking questions.

 **Fiiiiiiiiiine. If a friend of yours has some really bad breath, would you tell them.**  

Probably they would understand it just by looking at my face. But if they didn't yeah.

**I’d just stick a toothbrush in their mouth.**

Why do you keep telling me about yourself? It’s unnecessary. No one cares.

**I might fall in love with you if you keep complimenting me.**

This is an actual threat. I demand you to go on with your questions.

**Would you rather have knives for fingers or penises for fingers?**

**Leo?**

Im so sorry I'm just laughing so hard

**I know. I’m perfect.**

I have to give you that one, it was funny. Now, the real question.

**This is the real question.**

Come off it.

**fine. what a mood killer. Would you rather have uncontrollable gas at work for the rest of your life or uncontrollable gas on every first date for the rest of your life?**

First date of course. Is there even anyone who would pick the work?

**thats why you are single. What three items would you take with you on a deserted island?**

Lol zero imagination. Lighter, blanket and a coat.

**Apparently you thought about this before.**

Who hasn’t? It is a turning point in a person’s life.

**What is one thing you will never do again**

Wont get into a relationship before going through their whole internet histories. 

 **That's** **creepy.**

I’d rather be creepy than hurt.

**Oooh deep feelings. Sorry if I am not being gentle.**

This is better. I don't want to witness you trying to be sympathetic

**Leo it’s sometimes frightens me how much we agree on.**

Oh really Cris?

**???? Cris???**

????????????? LEO????????? LEO???????

 **Point taken.** **Are you related or distantly related to anyone famous? or do you know someone famous?**

No

**Dude**

What

**You are actually**

What are you talking about

**It’s me. You are blessed, I am quite the celebrity here.**

(Logged off.)

Day 8

**I’m asking someone out today.**

Okay?

**Wish me luck.**

Oooh you are nervous. You are amusing me.

But good luck.

How’s she like?

**God I knew you couldn't stay as an asshole for too long. And it’s he.**

Then how is he like? I’ll go back to that when I get a new photo of you.

**If you don’t get on your knees to beg me to have you. But anyways I shall talk about him.**

Well the stage is yours.

**First of all, he is very cute. I am pretty sure he has been crushing on me for a long time**

And you were aware of that and let him suffer when you were obviously into him too?

**He had a girlfriend. I received some information that they are no longer together.**

Well nice of you then. Maybe I’ll see a photo of you two later. I’m sure he is better looking than you.

**Did you even see my face?**

From profile. Besides your earrings shine too bright, which you should be thankful for as I believe it is not a very pleasant face to see.

**For how long exactly did you stare at my photos?**

Less than five seconds but it was enough to scar me for life. You must see them.

After you talk to the guy obviously. You need confidence.

**Leooooo**

Stop it. What do you want?

**It’s just that I like sarcastic people.**

I just think you need someone to show that you are not as awesome as you think.

**James thinks I’m very awesome.**

Oh god. You are just going to get worse if you go out with him.

**Leooooooooo?**

What now?

 **I’m just joking. I’m not going to ask anyone out. James is actually a puppy and he is actually blushing as he reads these. And he has his girlfriend on his lap**.

I knew both theoretically and practically someone finding you awesome was impossible.

**Leoooooooooooooooooooooooooo?**

What? Are you now going to say that you actually asked him out?

**Nah I was just going to say I like you.**

Our fist question is “Are you an introvert or an extrovert?” but since I already know the answer of these question I’ll skip. Do you enjoy amusement parks?

**Oh ignoring the flirting. And doesn't it bother you that we are getting to know each other. The project is working. And you are so blushing**

No I’m not blushing. I’m just sighing with boredom because I have the silliest companion. Will you answer the question?

**Love them. We should go to one once we meet each other. I want to hear you scream.**

You will. You will hear my screams of joy as I stab you with a knife when we are fifty meter above the ground.

**We’ll see how it goes when get there.**

What did you want to be when you were small?

**Footballer.**

It never Works out for anyone anyways. Don't you drive yourself into pity because of that. 

**I play for Real Madrid Castilla. I’m actually going to be a Professional footballer.**

You are fucking lying

**You wish.**

No I don't wish. What kind of a person do you think I am. Surprisingly, I’m happy for you.

**Thank I guess. What about you?**

It’s a hobby for me. I have other plans. Who do you spend more time with, your family or any of your friends?

**I am with Sergio and Iker at Castilla so it’s them.**

This is getting more real every second. Do you have a match these days?

**Yeah on Saturday. You may watch and bless your eyes.**

Thank you for permission. I will decide soon if I am worthy of these reward. Would you laugh if someone fell?

**Of course. Why would I stop myself having that pleasure?**

All right I see. Our work is done here.

**It seems so.**

I’ll see you tomorrow.

**Unless either of us die.**

Goodbye Cristiano.

(Logged off.)

Day 9

**Hello Leo.**

Why are you being nice? What do you have in mind today?

**I only greeted you and you are suspicious of it?**

Honestly, yes I am, indeed.

**I have no pranks in my mind which I plan to do to you.**

I want to believe it but I’m afraid I’m incapable of that.

**Then tell me an embarrassing story and you will stop worrying about my intentions.**

Uh why this has to happen to me? Okay then.

A few years ago I have to come back to Barcelona in someone else’s car and it was summer and it was so fucking hot but they didn’t turn air conditioning on. They just didn’t and I was shy to ask them. 

And I was sweating a lot, believe me probably as much as you sweat during matches but it wasn’t drying either because the weather was also damp. So when we finally get off the car, my whole back and my shorts were wet with sweat but my tshirt was black and it wasn’t visible.

My shorts on the other hand, they were grey and when I looked into the mirror I realised it looked exactly like I peed myself. No need to say I was horrified.

 **Oh come on it isnt so bad.**  

Well yeah probably compared to your epic fails. You were naked in front of fifty people and you were smashed and there were cameras. Just saying.

**Naked photos of me will just bring me more glory.**

**One thing that makes you different from other people?**

I can’t stress enough how ordinary I am. I can’t even think of a single thing.

**I don’t think so.**

Write whatever you want but it is the truth.

 **I will.** **Which Hogwarts house do you reckon you would be in?**

Hufflepuff no doubt.

**I thought so too. Who is the last person you texted and have you ever had a crush on them?**

It is you and absolutely no.

**This doesn’t count shitface.**

It’s Andres, he is a good friend and no.

**Good. Are you a leader or a follower?**

Neither. I am a loner.

**I am starting to think you are actually being too harsh on yourself.**

No I just know myself better than most people at our age do.

**Do I need to remind you that I’m eighteen and you are seventeen?**

For only few months Cristiano.

And I have to go.

**See ya then.**

**(Logged off.)**

Day 10

 **I have a photo of you**.

Did you have a stalker take a photo of me? I’m getting nervous talking to you.

**Of course not, it’s just I saw the photo Sergio’s guy sent him. I guessed it is you. Though I still couldn’t see your face, it only has your torso. Are you wearing grey sweatshirt and dark jeans today?**

Unfortunately yes. And this is such a lucky guess.

**You are really tiny, it is so cute I’m sure you would fit on my lap nicely.**

No I refuse to believe this is happening.

**Tell me your surname and I’ll stalk you.**

No fuck off.

**Come on Sergio’s guy likes to talk anyway, he’ll tell me.**

I’m going to destroy him. I’m going to tear his limbs apart.

**I have caused drama without even trying today, I’m on fire. Do you know him?**

He is supposed to be my friend.

**You made it so much easier to find you now.**

Oh come on, you are not really going to do it, are you?

You can do it after we are finished Cristiano

I would have told you my surname if you waited for me to answer

Well then, let me know when you are done invading my privacy.

**Like you didn’t look up Castilla squad yesterday, it is only fair. Besides they are all locked. Accept me my dearest Leo Messi. Or I’ll have to go through your friends’ photos.**

I deleted all my photos from Neymar’s account when you were busy looking for me in followers. And I didn’t, I don’t want to have spoilers

**That’s cheating. Come on, what harm will it do?**

**Spoilers for what?**

Your match obviously. It will just annoy you. And don’t ask for new photos from Neymar, he is locked in the bathroom.

**Aww, how eager you are to watch your crush. You can’t avoid this forever.**

Yes but you’ll just have to wait.

Dude, drop it for now.

**LEOOOOOOOO I HAVE YOUR SHIRTLESS PICS!!!**

What the fuck is this? How?

**I was going through all of Neymar’s friends and Mr. Gerard Pique provided me the photos I so deeply needed.**

I’m on the edge of tears. I just want to finish the questions and go home.

**You are so cute**

**And small**

**Such a bottom. I was right when I told you you could easily sit on my lap.**

Okay Cristiano. I believe you.

Do you have a good relationship with your family?

**Come on let’s talk about your abs.**

I don’t have abs.

**Oh you do and I want to lick them.**

**Your friend needs to stop taking selfies by the way.**

That’s what I tell him.

**Your tattoos though I though they were tiny**

Well now you’ve examined every part of me, we can go on.

**Every part?**

Every part you’ll ever see.

**Right. I shall answer your question then. Yes, I have a very good relationship with my family.**

Who are closest to in your family?

**My mother. She puts up with me quite spectacularly.**

**And your nipples are small. How sensitive are they?**

IF YOU WERE A GHOST WHO WOULD YOU HAUNT?

**I don’t hate anyone particularly, so I can’t give you a good answer.**

**Is that chick Antonella?**

Yes.

**She is hot.**

Yes she is. What do you like to do on weekends?

**Depends. Sometimes I like to go out, get drunk or I just stay at home watch horrible soap operas on TV.**

**Have you two ever fucked?**

BEST. FRIEND.

  **Okay okay I get it. You are doing a good thing with it because it only ends in disaster.**

You are stupid if you really slept with your bestfriend.

**I didn’t think she would take it as I like her.**

Thank you for reminding me that you are a heartless jerk again.

**I was drunk, I don’t even remember it, though she believes I do and I’m just pretending. For all I know, we could just happen to get in the same bed for some reason.**

And naked. Of course, it happens to anyone.

**Exactly my point. Would you please accept me on Instagram? I have to see your 135 photos.**

Shut up about it until we are finished and I will do it.

**Why would I believe you?**

I promise I will.

**Okay, well then quickly ask your questions.**

Would you risk your life to save someone you truly love?

**Very few people. It won’t be more than 5.**

BYE CRISTIANO HAVE FUN WANKING TO MY PHOTOS.

(Logged off.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please review and leave kudos! And I'd love it if you left me some questions to include in the story.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to post one day's chat in one chapter from now on because since they are getting to know each other better, their chats are longer and I don't want to take too long updating. Enjoy!
> 
> Some parts might be deleted, warn me if you notice something like that please!

_Day 11_

If I’m honest, I have to say that I’m feeling awkward talking to you right now.

**Why is that, little Leo?**

I watched your game.

**Oh you did? I knew you would. Now tell me, how much you are in love with me now?**

To be honest you are very aggressive you don’t have to argue with ref every time your opponent gets a freekick

**Oh come on have you seen how that ginger bastard tackled toni and he didn’t even get a yellow**

Who is Toni?

**Blonde kid**

Okay I remember that tackle now but Toni seemed like he could handle it himself he is a boss I loved the look he sent you after you yelled at ref

And I can’t help but wonder if number 10 was that james you were asking out

**Yeah that’s the bae isn’t he so adorable I sometimes want to wrap him in a blanket and coo for hours.**

I’m sure he’d be creeped out if he heard you talking about him this way

**Nah he loves my attention I’m his favourite too**

Yeah it was quite clear you two have a thing going on. You were this close to giving him a blowjob right there

**Oooh someone’s jealous**

Right I’m jealous of a jerk I’ve never met because he has homoerotic relationships on pitch with his teammates I’ve never met

**I know I have this affect on people**

**James will love this after he survives the shock of such vile language you use**

**He looks quite innocent but he has the dirtiest mind in the team believe me or not. He can see dicks and tits everywhere, all he needs is one second glance.**

**Besides did you see Iker and Sergio**

**That’s homoerotic**

It was quite obvious they were the two best friends of yours who is fucking.

**Why yes you have quite the observation skills. What gave it away?**

Five or ten proofs?

**Make it one and good.**

Dry humping every time they are on the floor for the ball?

**Oh yes that’s quite usual**

I bet Iker is the top

**To be honest I have never asked but I’ll inform you tomorrow**

Thank you your highness I’ll do my best to not fret about it too much

You are really good though

I wish you were in Barcelona so we could play together

**What do you mean**

Nothing?

**You sure sounded like you were implying something**

No I’m not

**Right**

**Well then we should get back to the point where you were praising me**

I wasn’t praising you I just stated the obvious

Your celebrations are dorky and at some point I expected you to find a crown and flip your hair

**Well I’m the king**

**I love it when my brilliance is a fact**

**And I bet you love dorky**

Ugh stop

Ask your questions

**No let’s talk about your instagram**

No

**I bet you put that last photo to show me you had abs**

You already knew I have abs?????

**But you wanted to remind me of it**

Okay true I’m trying too hard to get your attention

Will you give any tips to do that

**Send me nudes**

I’ll send you one when I’m close to coming

**That’s how I like it**

Maybe even a video?

**Say my name.**

**The man there is your sugar daddy?**

SHUT UP

THIS IS JUST GROSS MAN HE’S MY FRIEND’S FATHER

**Why do you take photos with him**

He’s celebrity around here I’ll show this photo and I can go in anywhere

**So you’ll pretend he is your sugar daddy**

Yes indeed. What can I say, I’m a hoe

**I’ll take a photo with your so you can put that on instagram too**

I’d crop you out

Besides let’s talk about you. You are the one who updates his account every five seconds

I’m sick of seeing your face on my dash

And honestly because of you now I can draw james with my eyes closed stop putting his photos

**I love him so much**

I think everyone who has crossed paths with you knows that you adore James to a point where you want to be his guardian angel but man, enough is enough

I bet if you have snapchat you have over 100 sec stories of him talking or sleeping

O **f course not, James looks so angelic when he’s sleeping world is not ready for that**

**Have you seen his instagram**

No of course not I’m not spending time looking at your pics

**Come on check it out**

OK WHAT THEFUCK IS THIS GO GET MARRIED NOW AND HAVE A COMMON ACCOUNT OR SOME SHIT

**Hey Lionel, this is James. Cris went to bathroom, I thought I should inform you.**

Oh god I can’t believe this you are so nice and you are friends with that evil?

**Oh Cris is an amazing human being. He is just difficult at times.**

**Not to me but I can understand why you think that.**

Yeah I got the message from your Instagram

I have to be super nice to you I guess or that bastard will be more of a bastard

Sorry for stalking you by the way

Though I’ve seen more photos of you from the devil’s page but whatever

**It’s okay I did the same for you too. Your nephew is very cute :)**

Oh okay thanks. 

And I’m sure you are a very special person to have that scum like you.

**I don’t think so. I have no idea why he is so keen with me to be honest. He’s back and patiently waiting for me to finish typing. He is patting my shoulder and I can sense he is getting fidgety.**

**See you later Lionel, don’t upset him too much**

I hope he can’t sleep with the agony I cause him.

**That won’t happen.**

**Isn’t he perfect?**

**He literally has me around his finger.**

Even his typing and grammar are perfect.

**Our love is eternal**

I understand. And ask your damn questions.

**You don’t want to talk about James?**

I know James’ life story, please.

**Okay fine what a joy killer. One, do you prefer car or plane?**

Whoever says car is a masochist.

**Leo we are so much alike. Just think about plane sex.**

Can I get to push you out when it’s over?

**Of course.**

Deal then.

**Two, have you ever questioned your gender?**

I had this one dream where my dick disappeared and after that I checked if it was there every morning for a month.

**Man I’m sorry that must be traumatising**

It was

**If you need any consolation I’m right here you know. Ready to relax you with my experienced hands**

**Three, what is the biggest inequality in your opinion?**

Well it probably changes for you if you face that inequality but I think sexism has the worst affect as it applies to the half of the world’s population. Even most of women is prejudiced to their own sex and I don’t even want to think about how men insults women in their heads all the fucking time, and most of the time without noticing it.

**I see your point. Four, do you think Snape and Lily should have ended up together?**

What do you think I think?

**I think you think that he deserves to rot in the deepest places of hell**

**You are so remus of that lot**

**I’m making you the nice one with hidden humour**

Thanks I guess

**Our last question of the night, are you ready?**

Night. Right, I knew you were an early sleeper.

**NERD.**

**What kind of people you would want to avoid for the rest of your life?**

People who bully smaller kids because they have shitty self esteem

**Were you ever been bullied?**

This is actually a very personal question but whatever the answer is no because I always had bodyguards to protect me because as you see I’m actually small and you might not believe it but I used to be smaller and they were afraid something would happen to me

Did you ever bully then, Cristiano?

**You had your army ready in case the enemy attacked.**

**What do you think I have great confidence in myself and there is no one in the world who respects me more than I respect myself**

**I’m truly magnificent**

And unbelievable.

**Well I gotta catch the training I’ll see you tomorrow**

Go break some hearts

**Cheeky**

**(Logged off.)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally they have each other's phone numbers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this without leaving my seat once and it leads to horrible typos and grammar mistakes. Enjoy!

Day 12

I head butted someone today.

**What?**

I head butted someone today.

**Is this real or some kind of a joke to make you seem more badass than you are?**

No it really happened. My mom thinks teenage hormones are finally hitting my head since I’ve been a very easy child

**Why then? I bet you were Leo**

I don’t even know. I just got angry out of nowhere.

Well, not out of nowhere but I got used to his teasing years ago

**Is that it though? You head butted them and just left?**

Nah, I also grabbed his neck. He’ll have bruises, too bad for him it’s not hickeys but my finger prints

**How much trouble did you get in**

Just detention. Everyone hates the guy anyways but now I’m scared

Have you ever noticed I’m small I need my body guards

**Oh god I’ll be your bodyguard and flash my arm muscles don’t you worry**

Thanks I appreciate it

**No problem Leo**

**What did they say to lose it though?**  

This time it was about my ex

Don’t think I’m just ignoring it during day and cry at night 

I give as much as I receive

**That’s my boy**

**Okay come on stop avoiding it**

What do you mean?

 **Stop avoiding saying your ex was a boy you’ve been doing it from the start**  

You noticed 

 **It is obvious Leo and you should now by now that I don’t mind that you were fucked your brains out for three years**  

Why do you think I was the bottom

**Do you remember when I told you you were a twink**

I don’t want to remember 

And besides we switched 

Sometimes 

**Obviously not so much**

**Let me guess it was one time and he chickened out**

Well if we are totally honest about it

**So why did you break up**

He left for university

**Oh you are really into older dudes**

Two years Cristiano, hardly counts 

**It is two years at the beginning, then it will be five then ten then twenty**

**Just saying**

**Hey do like my thighs**  

What kind of a fucking question is that 

**What’s wrong with it? I just want to know if I should work out harder to have them thicker**

You are eighteen it would be impossible to have thighs like twenty five year old professional footballer you know that right 

 **Yeah well true but you didn’t answer my question**  

I don’t know what you are talking about 

 **Fuck yourself**  

I do sometimes

 **Man that image is stuck in my mind forever**  

I’ll send you a pic 

**ANSWER MY DAMN QUESTION**

**But yes thank you I’d love that**  

Your thighs are fine

**Just fine?**

They are fabulous

 **Hah thanks man for the compliment and I knew you looked**  

I stared mostly at Sergio 

Did I tell you I changed my mind he is 8 

**What about me**

4,5. If you try hard enough it will be 5 

**Leo you are a very shit liar**

**I bet you screamed 10 when you saw me on TV**  

Antonella did if that’s any consolation 

**I only have eyes for you**

**But I’m glad your best friend has good opinion of your crush**

She doesn’t have an opinion of you other than the aggressive hot one 

**I prefer the term determined and ambitious**

**Can’t argue with the hot part though**

**I love how you don’t deny the crush part**  

I was getting there 

I don’t have a crush on you

on the other hand

You have a crush on me even though you are trying to hide it behind outrageous flirting 

 **I’m not hiding anything though I said I liked you didn’t I**  

You don’t even know me 

 **Probably better than most people you met**  

It’s because I don’t talk much and you probably wouldn't even realise I exist if we ever met before this 

 **Well that’s not how it happened so it doesn’t matter**  

It does Cristiano 

**How? excuse me because I don’t see your point at all**

Because I know it’s just the circumstances, that I’m going to be shy like I am %90 of the time and you’ll get bored 

**I doubt that but we’ll see when we get there**

**What about with circumstances anyways we met this way and I’m very glad of it stop being an emo**

**I should have known something like this would happen when you mentioned the head butting hormones really getting to you**  

I’m going to ignore this I’m perfectly normal and mature 

**Passive aggressive**

If you say so but I’d like to ask my questions.

**Passive aggressive x 2**

**I want your phone number**  

What you are going to do with it

**Call you text you**

Ugh I’ll think about it 

**Playing hard to get I see**

A lady gotta keep gentleman on their toes

**I’ll wait for ya**

You may get it if you behave

**I’m waiting you questions, very seriously**

Good boy. Do you play instruments?

**No I get people to play for me**

Sorry I forgot you were the king

Are you afraid of accident, car, plane etc? 

**Afraid of car crash only when Sergio is driving. Planes. Oh well, I’m always a little nervous to be honest.**

Like you use them so much 

**Bae**

**Do you forget I have to go to other cities for matches**

Do Iker and Sergio room together

**Oh god no we learned our lesson when they were limping in the match next day usually I stay with one of them but I always give them shit about it because I can’t stay with james and watch him sleep**

**I forgot to tell you you were right Sergio is the bottom. He said they switch but I think it’s something like your case if Iker’s eye roll was anything to go by.**

**I think Sergio likes bottoming too much so other way doesn’t happen**

Obvious

**Youa re amazing**

Is it because you used this sentence for the first time that your hands shake?

**Fuck off James stole your moment**

I’m quite upset at James tell him that

**I’m sorry Lionel, and you should give him your number his snapchat is gold. See you.**

Maybe. I’m still making up my mind about this. 

**I say it to james all the time anyways.**

After or before you kiss his ass?

**Both of course.**

I’m glad you are trying to keep him confident about himself. Do you smoke?

**That’s going in our files your teachers are full of shit**

You do?

**No I don’t but still they are**

Yeah actually you are right

I’ll warn them about this

 **You are my saviour**  

I thought you were mine

**You solve the social problems and I solve the physical ones**

What about you solve both 

That would make you one step closer to stealing my heart

**I’m tempted but can I handle both when I’m drunk on your existence**

You’ll have to manage

 **Well if you want me to who am I to object**  

Do you like coffee?

**My blood is made of caffeine**

I want to drink your blood

**My cum?**

You’ll have to work really hard for that

But nothing is impossible

Cristiano come back I’m joking

**Sorry I had to take care of a boner**

Seriously

**No not really but teacher called me**

**Sergio tried to read these btw**

**But james stopped him**

Tell james he is the best

**He knows that already**

**Thank you Lionel, I couldn’t let Sergio get ideas from your chats could I? I’m always the one to listen their problems and solve them.**

You rock.

**Yeah I do.**

Did he just make a sex joke?

**Yeah you catch up well**

**Let’s get back to your offer**

I didn’t offer anything

**I’m not going to turn down a blowjob offer from dearest Mr. Messi**

**You are good at it aren’t you**

Never better at anything I had a lot of practice

**Good good I don’t want my dick bitten off**

What makes you think I won’t

**You’ll be too busy appreciating my body to have evil thoughts**

Anyways

Would you want to live somewhere else

**I’m Portuguese and we moved here when I was little so I might want to go back to my hometown one day, like when I’m sixty or something**

I see. What about your family?

**My mother will probably want to go back when she sees I will be fine on my own. And my siblings, I’m not sure about them.**

Your father?

**He is dead.**

Oh my god I’m really sorry Cristiano, I should’ve realised. I’m really sorry for your loss.

**Don’t be it’s okay it’s been years**

I’m still sorry

**It is really okay Leo, we were not that close anyway. Just drop it and ask your questions.**

Okay. Um so, what makes you want to puke every time you see it or hear it?

Or touch or smell or taste?

**I got the point a lot earlier**

**I hate fish smell and Barcelona colours are fucking disgusting too**

Fish I understand.

**Don’t forget to add the colours**

Shut up

I’m done with questions

**Phone number**

Will you blow me

**Anything you want**

**It is a promise**

Get some practice before coming near me

**Won’t you be jealous**

I’ll try to handle it somehow

Here: (……….)

You can’t just call me in the middle of school

**Can I text you though**

Maybe

**(Logged off.)**

**Leo**

**Leo**

**LEO**

Can’t I have my peace

**No I want to talk to you**

**Look at james sleeping**

He is very cute you are right

**James says thank you**

**Look at Sergio sleeping**

That’s not nice Cristiano

**James laughed, Iker lost it and Sergio is offended and I'm proud**

Tell him he is fine when I can’t see the back of his throat and he is not drooling

**You should see me when I’m on the top of my game**

This is Sergio I believe

**Yes I heard you told cris I was a 3**

I actually said you were 8 but only when you are playing outside the pitch you are 6

**I knew he was lying that’s why I didn’t hate you at first**

**Actually I did but iker pointed out that cris was probably trying to mess with me**

Where is he now

**Iker is keeping him down with Fabio and gareth and luka and marcelo and pepe. James is trying to trick him into submission**

**He is doing great, he almost doesn’t fight back anymore James is a magician**

Why do you need so many people to pin him down

And besides this sounds too creepy man just let him go

**He is quite strong and it isn’t very often when we can tickle him until he can’t breathe**

**He is going to be released in a minute I need to run away as far as possible he will kill me**

I see but can you blame him

**Oh protecting your bae I see nice to meet you Leo**

Good to know everyone feels comfortable to call me with my nickname

**I’ll kill them**

It’s okay Cristiano

**Anyways this is Sergio and Iker making out when they forgot we were there**

This is a disgrace I don’t want to witness this

**This is exactly what I said back then**

**Only it was live for me and it wasn’t muted or anything**

**Btw I liked your profile photo but why does antonella sit on your lap**

She likes to

She also likes it when I carry her to her room

She says I make it up for that she’ll never have someone like me

**Do your parents think that you date her**

They like to believe that even though they didn’t like her one bit before I told them I was dating david then all they tried to was set us up

It never worked of course antonella says she can’t forget the times when my dick was as big as my pinky

**I think I would like her**

You would but I’m not sure about her

I gotta go alright teacher’s getting suspicious talk to you later

**Yeah okay see you bitch**


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look at me updating in three days, I'm on a roll.
> 
> (Again, if there is any deleted lines please tell me)

**(Call denied.)**

**(Call denied.)**

**(Call denied.)**

**(Call denied.)**

**Pick it for fucks sake.**

No. Get lost.

**Just give me a reason.**

I don’t want to.

**Bitch**

**Whore**

**Slut**

**Hoe**

**Dick**

**Pimp**

**Skank**

Do you blame me?

**Yes, I want to talk to you.**

We can text but that’s all you get for tonight.

**It’s not like I’m asking for phone sex. I just want to hear your voice.**

That sounds sickeningly romantic I’m outta here.

**Oh well you have to get used to my grand gestures.**

I might be sick.

**It must be butterflies in your stomach.**

More like snails.

**Give me a proper reason and I’ll stop calling you.**

**(Call denied.)**

Why don’t you let it go?

**(Call denied.)**

Okay fine it’s because I sound like shit today

**Are you being shy I thought you couldn’t be any cuter**

I sound like fucking Godzilla there is nothing cute about it

Besides I’m really sick I caught cold few days ago

**I see shitty Barcelona weather**

I hope you don’t believe what you are saying right now.

**At least you know what to expect from Madrid.**

I like surprises.

**So if you find a pic of my dick one morning you will be pleased because you like surprises**

No I’ll be pleased because then I can find the perfect knife to cut it to pieces when you think I’m going to blow you

**You are really aggressive today**

**Head butt doesn’t shock me anymore**

Very funny

We can talk some other day okay just don’t expect me to talk much, if at all

**Fine I’m letting it go for today**

**I have a big mouth don’t you worry about the silence**

**Hey have you seen my snapchat story**

You could always check if I have

**I can’t be bothered to look through 200 people come on**

Yes I have Cristiano but honestly 144 seconds?

 **You watched them all religiously didn’t you**?

More like tapped my thumb repeatedly so it would stop bothering me. Like I do with kylie jenner.

**Oh come on Sergio was making a fool of himself in one of them**

**I follow her too I don’t even know why**

Because she keeps grabbing her boobs that’s why

**She’s hot**

She is seventeen and she is weird she has issues

**She is hot**

Your friends keep adding me on snapchat and I’m accepting them because they might have some embarrassing stories of you too

Though I’m wondering how they got my username

**Fucking Sergio I’ll slay his throat he must have stolen my phone**

**I’m sorry**

It’s alright

Hah

Sergio is sending me snaps of you

Nice shorts

**Finally he is doing some good is he getting nice shots**

Yeah very nice

And I have twenty follow requests on instagram too Cristiano this is getting ridiculous

**Oh they follow whomever I follow**

I’m disgusted I’m going to decline them all

**Except james’ right**

Of course

Why did you take your shirt off?

 **So you have a better view**  

Thanks but put it back on if you want me to talk to you on phone I’m not going to listen to you if your voice is anything like mine

**Okay the coach is angry anyway but I appreciate the worry**

Oh the stretching how Sergio is getting away with this

You are very flexible

Your friends are perverts now iker is sending me snaps from another angle

And some guy named Fabio???

Here is another one karim

You need to reconsider your friend choices

I got screenshots of every single one of them

What do you think of your friends’ photography skills?

**Sergio is a boot licker the coach loves him and he basically has ninja skills for hiding his phone**

**To be honest I wouldn’t expect this from Iker but probably he has been spending too much time around Sergio**

**He always does actually but I think it’s getting its tool on him finally**

**And I look perfect of course it doesn’t have anything to do with their skills**

**Oh I guess you left just so you know I’m going to shower**

**Though don’t get too kinky with your fantasies remember there are about 20 guys in the showers with me**

**Not the same shower don’t even bother making smartass remarks**

**Unless you are into public sex**

**Or is it semi public since the curtains will be shut**

**Iker is warning me to not to stay sweaty**

Today james said your snapchat was gold but it is all about him

**Well yeah that must be the reason he said it**

But he looks like a puppy

**He is half angel half devil**

**Just like you**

I don’t know if this is a compliment or insult

**I said you were like james of course it is a compliment**

I figured

And for your information, I’m not into public sex especially in places where you can find male pubic hair everywhere

**I’ll keep that in mind**

**Are you fine with female pubic hair though**

Don’t be gross there is a line

**And this is not it**

Fine I accompanied Anto to coiffeur so she could get waxed I’m kind of over the horror

**You are the best of best friends**

I know I’m faboulous

**Did you get in with her**

Of course not. THAT is the line but I heard her scream once or twice

**It must have hurt**

It must have hurt a lot because anto is a badass she didn’t even cry when she got her first tattoo and it was her wrist

**Did you cry**

Like a baby

Hey do you ever talk with that girl best friend you had sex with

**Her name is irina and she is still giving me shit for it**

**But it has been two months she is slowly forgiving me**

**I’ve been apologising in different languages every day since then I’m almost out of languages**  

This is so sweet

Oh god I cant believe my heart melted

**If you think this is anything be at my feet when I say I have also been sending chocolate which has our photos on them**

You are right I’m all yours take me

**On your back**

You wanna see my face how romantic

**Apparently you read too much historical romance**

How would you know about it

**I might be reading them when I’m bored**

**They are my mother’s of course**

**I bought some of them but for her**

Of course

Which era gets you off more quickly

**Shut up they are fun**

**Try Judith mcnaught**

Wait a min I’m looking her up

These are too cheesy and of course you love them

**Say something to make me feel better**

I have always been cool and my interests have never been a cause of embarrassment sorry

**I’m gonna find out all of your secrets and give you shit for them**

Though you should hide these if you don’t want your friends to make fun of you

Not that you don’t deserve it

**Hush we wouldn’t be friends if we weren’t assholes to each other**

I’m not an asshole to my friends

**Leo you follow like 70 people and half of them are celebrities I doubt you are friends with many people**

I don’t really give a shit what people eat and I don’t really want to see them kissing two-week girlfriends their hands on her ass

So I don’t follow anyone you are literally the only one I see on my dash

**After I ignore the angst and that I’m one of those people, I’m going to say I’m flattered that you chose me to follow**

You made me

**You can always unfollow**

No, where will I see james’ face otherwise

**Right I’m sure that’s the reason**

Cristiano I’m going to tell you a secret 

**Oh okay you better not drop a bomb on me before I’m ready**

You are not going to like me when we meet

Not as a friend and definitely not more than a friend

**Ok stop this even if we don’t have the chemistry or you don’t feel attracted or I don’t feel attracted, it won’t change that I’ll like you as a friend**

I’m not going to argue about this any further at this moment, but think about what you are implying might mean for your life

**You are being weird**

**But okay fine, I’ll think about you all night**

Think about what I said

**Okay okay**

I had a tiring day, I’m going to sleep.

**Good night Leo, dream of the hot boys of Madrid.**

Good night, idiot.

***

“Who the fuck are you?”

**“Leo! God, you have a sexy voice!”**

(Call ended.)

what the fuck Cristiano this is violation of privacy

**I LOVE YOUR VOICE**

I JUST FUCKING SWORE AT YOU AND BASICALLY JUST GRUNTED

IM REALLY MAD I WANT TO STRANGLE YOU

**Call down it’s not like I creeped on you**

You called me from an unknown number

I’m really angry with you

**Why are you angry all the time**

Because I’m having a hard time in my life right now and you are making me nervous

**You can tell me**

**If you want of course**

Stop with these like you are shy or anything it only works in fanfictions

And you woke me up thirty minutes early so I’m going to get ready to leave early

**Why the fuck you leave your house early**

**Oh**

**Unless you are fighting with your family**

**I guess that makes sense**

**Sorry man I’m insensitive sometimes**

**Usually**

**Always?**

**Leo talk to me and say you accept my apology**

I wasn’t ignoring you I was just trying to sneak out without waking them up.

And it’s fine, I’m not really mad at you

Actually you can call me right now

But I’m warning you, you are going to do the talking

**“Are you walking to school?”**

“Yes.”

**“Okay, shithead I will talk but only if you contribute. I’m not that desperate.”**

“You are pretty desperate. And well, usually my mom drops me off.”

**“You should call your friends.”**

“You can’t imagine how early I am. I will still be early even though I’m walking.”

**“I always wake up at this hour. You should do it too.”**

“Why would I do that when I could be sleeping?”

**“So you can work out.”**

“Wait wait. Are you running right now?”

**“Yes.”**

“You are not even out of breath."

**“You sound impressed. And you should be.”**

“Why did I expect you to be less vain, I don’t even know.”

**“Hey come on, I’m not vain. Just confident."**

“This is not confidence Cristiano. Maybe arrogance.”

**“Don’t laugh at me.”**

“Why, Cristiano, does your confidence shake?”

**“It’s not that easy to bother me. And keep saying my name.”**

“What?”

**“Tell my name.”**

“Do you have a fetish or something?”

**“Do you have to ruin everything? I just like it.”**

“Cristiano, Cristiano, Cristiano, Cristiano.”

**“Your voice is even sexier when you are laughing.”**

“This is the first time anyone says anything about my voice.”

**“Maybe they didn’t listen it very carefully.”**

“Oh god stop you are making a fool of yourself. This is all because of those novels.”

**“Hey that is unmentionable. And you talk. You tricked me.”**

“I’m not myself right now.”

**“I just think you feel comfortable with me.”**

“You are so fucking corny Cristiano.”

**“I bet you like dirty talking in bed.”**

“Oh no no no, we are not talking about this.”

**“I take that as a yes. Are you blushing?”**

“No, shut up.”

**“You are, oh my god. Hey do you get red in neck or chest too?”**

“Stop this conversation right now."

 **“Just answer the question.”**  

“Yes I blush all over. Happy now?” 

**“I want to kiss you.”**

“You never met me." 

 **“I saw your pictures you are hot.”**  

“I am not hot, Cristiano. You are, most of your friends are but I’m not.” 

**“Thank you Leo. But that’s not the point. I saw your photos and you are hot.”**

“If you really think that, it means that you have a type.” 

 **“What type? And if you say pale or skinny I’m going to ignore.”**  

“They are true and I have a weird face.” 

**“Well I have to admit that short hair suits you better. I stored those long hair pictures.”**

“You are a dick.”

 **“But have you seen my photos when I was ten? I turned out to be just fine. You are probably moping because you had angsty moments when you were thirteen."**  

“I just told you yesterday that I was a easy teenager.” 

**“So you are just being difficult now.”**

“I’m realistic." 

 **“Fuck your reality it’s shit.”**  

“Calm down princess. Do you use this tone with refs?”

 **“Only more intimidating.”**  

“You could multiply zero forever and it wouldn’t change shit.” 

 **“Nerd.”**  

“Let’s not talk about this.” 

 **“I’m letting it slide for now but this isn’t over.”**  

“Oh I’m terrified.” 

 **“Stick your sarcasm in your ass. I’m going to tell you something.”**  

“Make it entertaining.”

**“Of course, if what I tell you is not interesting enough, just focus on my voice.”**

“You are getting raspy.”

**“Don’t worry about me. So last year me and James acted like we were dating.”**

“What a challenge it must have been.” 

 **“No you don’t understand. Even all of our closest friends thought we were. His current girlfriend still thinks that. She still despises me for it, she thinks I broke his heart or something. Like I would even breathe the wrong way if it hurt James.”**  

“Of course, you have to protect your baby. But why did you do it?” 

 **“I don’t know, it was fun. He liked to sit on my lap too, though he is almost as tall as me.”**  

“You groped his ass all the time?”

 **“Yeah that was irresistible.”**  

“But maybe he liked you and you didn’t realise?”

**“No, he didn’t.”**

“If you say so. I still don’t see your point.” 

**“We are going to tell the guys we tricked them. I want you to be there when they hear it.”**

“What?”

**“You’ll be on speaker so I can hear your commentary.”**

“I am not going to talk when there are twenty guys listening to me.”

 **“Fine, then. You will just listen, then do me a private commentary.”**  

“Sounds better. You’ll have to arrange around my schedule. I’ll pass it on to my secretary.”

**“Bae, that’s hot. I love your money.”**

“Imma make you eat it.”

**“I’ll be on my knees for you. Leo, I’m going to ask you a question.”**

“Okay.”

**“Do you really think James liked me?”**

“No, I don’t think that. I’m just saying it is a possibility because usually people don’t pretend they are dating with someone for a year." 

 **“But have you sensed anything from him?”**  

“Are you asking me if you are leading him on?” 

**“Basically.”**

“I didn’t sense such thing but I don’t know the guy and I didn’t exchanged more than five sentences. You can ask if he liked you when you were pretending if you don’t mind looking like an arrogant idiot if he says no.”

**“I’d rather be arrogant than to have hurt him.”**

“Ask him then. I gotta go. Anto is doing really weird shit to catch my attention.”

**“Call you later.”**

*******

**He told me I’m an arrogant fucking motherfucker and trust me you don’t hear him swearing that much other than shit once a month**

**He nearly died of laughing he was all over the floor**

**He is still shooting me weird amused looks and giggling**

**He is trying to hide it tho it’s obvious**

Well at least you have clear conscience now

**He is going to tell the others about my slip after we tell them about fake dating**

**I cannot wait to see how they are going to torment me**

I’m sorry my advice was shit

**It’s okay I believe you had good intentions**

Maybe

**Dick**

Shh don’t talk to me right now and worry about how you are going to take the hits 

**I’ll inform you before it begins**


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To say that this chapter is a mess is understatement. But I hope it is clear enough so you dont have to read the lines ten times.

**Hey we have a free period. Are you free right now?**

Yeah it’s fine. Go.

**“I’m about to shit my pants. Do you think I should chicken out and let my embarrassment from the morning cool off a bit?”**

“Just get on with it. They’ll know about it either way. But you know what happens when you take my advice.”

**“You are right about this though… “**

**“…Hey Lionel!”**

“You are %100 James.”

**“Yes, you really have a nice voice.”**

“Cristiano told you that.”

**“Yes but you really do. Soothing but I wouldn’t call sexy. Who knows what he has on his mind.”**

“Sorry about his questions by the way. I told him to ask.”

**“Oh I’m here thank you for that. It provided me with endless laughing material. I’ll probably remember it when he gets married.”**

“Where did he go? You guys didn’t tie him again, did you?”

**“No but I told him to go pee. He had been squirming.”**

“Good to know he is putting Niagara Falls to shame right now.”

**“He has a big bladder…”**

**“…Please refrain from talking Leo about these James.”**

“You came back quickly.”

**“We are in front of a toilet.”**

“Why aren’t you nice to me too? We could have totally civil conversations about cool shit.”

**“Cool shit? You don’t have the material. Hey, it’s Sergio. And Iker. Surprise surprise. Karim and Fabio will be here soon.”**

“I know them. Karim has shaky hands.”

**“I knew they were from him. No one uses that much emoji besides me. Hey, Pepe, come over here!”**

**“…You look like crap…”**

**“…He looks lovely as ever…"**

**“…When has he ever looked better than decent? I won’t change my opinion on this even for you Jamie…”**

**“…Shut up, Leo is listening us...”**

**“…Really? Hello little Leo! I’m Pepe.”**

“I figured.”

**“He keeps talking about you.”**

“As much as James?”

**“Far worse man.”**

“I’m sorry.”

**“It’s okay, you sound cool. Nice voice by the way.”**

“Please kill him for me if he says anything about my voice to anyone.”

**“My pleasure. I’ve been waiting for this opportunity…”**

**“…I see you are getting cosy with my friends Leo.”**

“Common enemy.”

**“Everyone’s here. Ignore the background voice. Mine is the most important anyways…”**

**“…Prick…”**

**“…Shut up Sergio. I’m still mad at you. Leo is on the speaker but he will not speak because I don’t want you guys to fall in love with his voice or anything.”**

“Shut up Cristiano or I’ll have you murdered.”

**“I like him. Your plan is starting to collapse Cris...”**

**“…You are not allowed to speak Marcelo. Leo do you realise I’m introducing you to the team? Keep them in mind.”**

“That’s impossible. Stop delaying it.”

**“He is blushing, guys. So. No interrupting James. He’ll tell you something that will blow your minds…”**

**“…It wouldn’t do any difference for you. Am I right Leo?”**

“I don’t know who you are but I whole heartedly agree.”

**“Iker.”**

“The top, okay.”

**“Hey!..”**

**“…I told you he was perfect. Now James…”**

**“…You guys remember last year when me and Cristiano dated…”**

**“…Are you guys together again?..”**

**“…I though you were crushing on Leo…”**

**“…I am…”**

**“…It’s a dick move to make him listen this Cris…”**

“Oh god, this is a mess.”

**“Thank you Leo. Now you fuckers listen to me. One, I’m not going to forget that you guys cut James off. Two, I’m not being a dick here, we are not together or anything. Three… That’s all…”**

**“…Thank you Cristiano, for clearing things up. So I was saying that you were all wrong…”**

**“…What do you mean we were wrong?..”**

**“…We weren’t dating. We just played it…”**

**“…I fucking knew it…”**

**“…No you didn’t Sergio…”**

**“…Jamie but he did. He always told us you guys didn’t seem interested in each other but we always thought it was his imagination. It goes wild sometimes…”**

**“…You would know all about it, wouldn’t you Iker…”**

**“…Let’s not get off the track. I can’t believe you would do this to us!..”**

**“…You’ll get over it…”**

**“…You shut up…”**

**“…You didn’t tell James to shut up…”**

**“…It’s James!..”**

**“…You didn’t hear the whole thing yet…”**

**“…Jamie, I love you, please don’t do this. Oh he is going to do it. You can’t hear this Leo I’m sorry. Be there at two o’clock sharp.”**

“Stay strong.”

Day 13

**I’m shaking Leo**

If it makes you feel any better, I feel sorry for you too

**Not better but less sad**

James is kind of terrifying

**I won’t talk to him for a while he’s hurt me**

Don’t whine you’ll last a day I believe

**No I’ll last until he calls you to talk to me**

How do you know he’ll do that

**Trust me Leo I’ve known him since I’m five and that’s how he copes with disagreements**

And you think he’ll call me

**He’ll contact you I’m sure of that**

Okay fine I’ll tell you if he does

**I liked talking to you**

I did too you are more normal when you are talking

Less chance to think of arrogant remarks

**Please refrain from making jokes**

**All kidding aside I really liked your voice**

I got the point so much earlier

But thank you

This information might come in handy one day

**On me of course**

Of course who else would it be

**Will you flirt with me when we are on phone too it will double the sexiness**

Fake flirt with you you mean

**You secretly like me**

You would think that

**You really don’t like me?**

How do you expect that I didn’t even see you in person

**You are hard to please**

I am not believe me

**You would suck at online dating**

I suck at dating

**You have been in relationship for three years and you suck at dating very rational**

Still a mystery that he has stuck with me for that long

**Was he a dick**

Not more than you

**That’s a lot of dickness**

That’s not a word

**Does the job**

Maybe a little bit more dick than you

**Kill him before he gets someone pregnant**

Gay remember

**Thank god and they say homosexual relationships will destroy the society**

I’ll let him know you said that he’ll find it hilarious

**You still talk to him?**

I talk to his boyfriend

**Okay this is whole another level of weird**

David is nice

**You said he was more dick than me Leo**

His boyfriend’s name is David too

 **Then use their surnames to tell me their story**  

Nice try but no. It is also kind of boring

**I’m sure it is not I’m curious**

**Unless you are still hurt over it**

Hah

How about “The Dick” and “The Tits”

**You have my full attention go on**

So there was a time Leo and The Dick dated, as much as they were in love at the first stages of their relationship, they started to get tired of each other. But you know what they say, habit makes it so much harder to get rid of the things that hurts you.

But before that it should be known that The Dick stayed at Barcelona so they wouldn’t be apart. It wasn’t even a question back then, almost two years together they thought they would be each other’s forever.

**How poetic, I’m tearing up.**

Shut up

Because they were used to seeing each other all the time, seeing each other for only about three hours a day was disorienting and it shook their relationship. It may seem more than enough but it actually got less and less. At first The Dick visited Leo’s home more and let’s just keep it simple and say it caused some problems such as parents realising their son was not straight and they were not exactly pleased.

Leo thought fuck them and kept dating him but it was falling apart and he was being stubborn not to break things off because that would satisfy his parents.

Summer came and The Dick went on a holiday to Valencia, where he met The Tits. As far as Leo knows, it took The Dick only a week to call Leo and break up with him. It was the first time they talked that week and you can’t imagine how relieved Leo was.

**Only relived then?**

No, of course not. There was hurt, especially his pride. But he was waiting for it for a long time and he regretted that he wasn’t the one to break up.

**I don’t see how The Tits get involved.**

Oh The Tits is basically the nicest human being to honour the world. He found Leo after The Dick told him that he did a dick move. He was literally shaking when they met up and he kept telling that he wouldn’t ever get involved with The Dick if he ever knew he had a boyfriend

**I’m sorry but is this the guy you say is the same level of dick with me**

I was joking you are competing in different areas

But if The Tits is to be believed, there was no cheating. Leo didn’t really care at that point but The Tits was almost crying to get it out so Leo let him talk. After The Tits was no longer weeping with guilt, they hang out and found out they got on well.

The Dick has transferred to Valencia and since that day they no longer exchanged a word but there isn’t almost a day when Leo and The Tits don’t talk.

**You really thought this was boring? A book could be written based on this.**

I would never read it I have better things to do in life. No drama or whatsoever.

**I’m glad you didn’t go into depression or something.**

Thank you for your sincere consolation.

**Shh boy.**

**One, what would you do if you knew it was the last day of your life?**

That’s a very depressing question I don’t want to think about this ever

It depends on how old I am

**The age you are now**

I don’t want to fucking die at 17 

**I’ll write “my pal isn’t willing to think about this”**

**Two, how much time do you spend on internet everyday**  

Four hours if I include texting and such I guess

**You are just another slave of this new era of technology**

I would have defended myself if I didn’t know you spend at least 12 hours

 **Stalking you takes a lot of time dear**  

I noticed will you stop going through my friends profiles apparently you accidentally liked a picture of neymar’s from a year ago 

**Ugh I hoped he wouldn’t try to see which picture it was**

Dude of course he was curious which one it was since you don’t know each other AT ALL and its fucking weird

 **I’m not denying I told you I was looking for pictures of you**  

And I told you I deleted all of my pictures from his profile 

**It’s impossible that you go through 2000 photos in such short time you must have missed something**

**I’m going to find it**

You really really really don’t have anything to do 

**Not any of them is better than you**

You are impossible Cristiano

 **You know you love it**  

 **Three, did you decide what you are going to study in university?**  

I’m not going to university. I have other things planned. 

 **Such as?**  

I really can’t tell you. I swore a pinky swear about this. 

 **You are just trying to be mysterious.**  

No I swear I’m not but I’m not allowed to talk about it. But trust me when I say you’ll find out one way or another. 

 **Now I’m really curious. Are you moving to L.A. for some acting jobs?**  

I can’t lie to save my life, I’ll definitely not be acting. 

 **Private agent?**  

Then I could never tell anything about this to you or anyone and I’m assuring you that you’ll know.

**You are actually a genius and already finished university?**

Not even close. I don’t think you’ll guess it right and even if you did I couldn’t tell you so.

**But I’ll keep informing you about my theories.**

Please do, a man needs to laugh at other people’s ridiculousness

 **Mean. Four, how much sunscreen you use before you go to beach?**  

Half of the bottle, even the places that are covered.

 **I’m sensing sarcasm here but I can’t be sure**  

You’ll have to decide if I am fucking with you or I’m serious 

 **OF COURSE YOU ARE SERİOUS ABOUT OUR REALTIONSHIP LEO OR WERE ALL THOSE “I LOVE YOU”S FAKE?**  

Drama queen.

 **Come on, you deliberately phrased it like that**  

Maybe but then maybe not 

**You are stealing my heart**

**I will be unable to breathe without you before this month ends**

**Five, have you cried for a fictional character before?**  

Do you mean “How often do you weep for Sirius Black?” 

**Another way to ask.**

Once or twice everyday.

 **Soon enough I’ll be there to wipe your tears**  

I’m waiting for you until then, your picture pressed against my heart 

 **My name tattooed on your heart**  

And on every vein in my body 

 **Is it true you could wrap world twice around its middle with veins in your body**  

I doubt it Cristiano but what do you think I am, an expert? 

 **Better than me at least**  

No I’m quite horrible 

 **Work harder and provide me with useless information**  

Whatever you want. And I’m sorry but I have to go, Anto is making me somewhere. Don’t even ask, I have no ide. 

 **Say hello to the lovely lady**  

Better not 

**What do you mean?**

**(Message failed.)**  

(Logged off.)

 **** 

Goodnight Cristiano 

**What the fuck do you want from me it’s eleven people are sleeping**

I knew it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think of this :) (Once again, if you notice deleted lines, please warn me.)


	7. Chapter 7

**“Wake up princess!”**

“I can’t imagine a worse way to wake up than hearing your voice.” 

 **“You sound... awake.”**  

“I knew you were going to wake me up darling. So I woke up before you could call me.” 

 **“Sneaking out again?”**  

“Yes. Sorry about the whispering.” 

 **“It’s kind of annoying.”**  

“Wait a minute... DO YOU HEAR ME CLEARLY NOW?” 

 **“What the fuck? Why would you this? You are so dead. Watch you back Leo.”**  

“When are you gonna do that? When you get in bed at nine o’clock?” 

 **“Please, I go to sleep at ten.”**  

“My bad.”

 **“Still arguing with parents?”**  

“Fighting. Arguing is too mild for what’s going on in the house.” 

 **“Do you mind me asking?”**  

“Nothing new actually. Trying to set me up with girls because they still believe I can be with a girl, which is technically not wrong but definitely not with a girl they approve.” 

 **“Antonella is your first choice then.”**  

“They still have faith in us. It’s pathetic.” 

 **“Maybe you should go out with me, I can’t imagine what could possibly get them more pissed off.”**  

“I’ll consider it. But I don’t think they’ll be annoyed with you for anything other than you have a dick.” 

 **“What can I say, I’m charming. And it’s a nice dick.”**  

“It hurts me to say this but you are charming. I have my doubts about your dick though.” 

 **“This is the nicest thing you ever said to me.”**  

“I know. Who is that kid with you in all photos?” 

 **“My nephew.”**  

“Why do you call him Cristiano Ronaldo Junior?” 

 **“He wants to be me when he grows up, so we have to call him junior or he goes crazy.”**  

“Do children actually like you?” 

 **“I don’t understand why but they do. Grown ups, yeah, because they can’t help but lust after me but I must have something special for children to like me.”**  

“You say so little for someone talks this much.” 

 **“Gives you a chance to control your breathing.”**  

“Shut up, I’m walking uphill. Anto will drive me school today.” 

 **“What did you mean by ‘better not’?”**  

“What?” 

 **“When I told you to say hi from me.”**  

“She is protective. Mommy koala.” 

**“She is trying to protect you from breaking your heart. She should know that we are on the same page.”**

“Do yourself a favour and don’t talk her this way if you ever talk to her. She’ll eat you raw.” 

 **“What the fuck is this? I’m not pointing a gun at your temple.”**  

“I’m getting in the car, I better…” 

“…Are you Cristiano Ronaldo Dos Santos Averio?” 

 **“Why the rush? Let’s chat first before you start snarling at me. ”**  

“I don’t appreciate your humour.”

**“Check the name on the phone for fucks sake.”**

“I’d like to know your intentions with Leo…” 

“…You two are not having this conversation.”

 **“She is actively aggressive. Tell her to go get laid.”**  

“I didn’t end up well last time…” 

“…My sex life doesn’t concern you.” 

 **“Your failed sex life.”**  

“At least I know I won’t catch HIV anytime soon.” 

 **“Not ever with this attitude.”**  

“You know what? You are actually alright.” 

 **“Please give Leo back, this conversation going out of hand.”**  

“Sorry Cristiano, I told you she is protective.” 

 **“It’s alright. Make sure she doesn’t bite you.”**  

“Be nice. I’ll talk to you later.” 

 **“Bye bae.”**  

***

 **“Who is this?”**  

“I’m Antonella.”

 **“Oh. Hello?”**  

“I’m sorry for being rude this morning.”

 **“It’s alright, uh, I don’t mind.”**  

“He said you wouldn’t.” 

 **“Yeah, well, he was right.”**  

“Awkward silence. So, Cristiano, talk about yourself please.” 

 **“I don’t know what to say or what you want me to say.”**  

“Are you a playboy?” 

 **“Well. I guess.”**  

“Leo is a very good and kind person.” 

 **“I guess.”**  

“You don’t know him all that much.” 

 **“It’s been three weeks since we met. What do you expect?”**  

“For some reason he seems to think you are not a mean person.” 

 **“It’s because I am not. I am a good friend, whether you believe it or not.”**  

“Leo assured me that you were too. But what about your girlfriends or boyfriends?”

 **“I didn’t have any for a long time.”**  

“Means you fuck and leave.” 

 **“I never give them any illusion that it’ll be more than that. I’m totally honest. Besides how many people do you think it was? It’s high school for fucks sake.”**  

“What about Irina? Don’t worry, I just read your chats.” 

**“That’s totally creepy.”**

“I know. Leo was totally horrified. I was totally horrified. But let’s talk about you.”

 **“It was a mistake. I’m still angry with myself.”**  

“That’s mean.”

**“It’s the truth and I’d rather be mean than to lie. And I’m sorry.  I probably would have changed it if I had only one chance. She means a lot to me.”**

“Okay, I see. Everyone makes mistakes etc. etc. and you are trying to make it better etc. etc. But I still don’t believe you would treat Leo as he deserves. I don’t mean the way you tease him, don’t get me wrong. He has a thing for it but I don’t think you are fit for a relationship.” 

 **“I know Leo enough to know he would be embarrassed with this.”**  

“That’s why he’ll never know about this.” 

**“Right. Anyways, you are jumping to conclusions. You don’t know me and he isn’t interested as much as me. He has the upper hand.”**

“You would know instantly if he was not interested. He likes you and I can understand why but it doesn’t make me stop from worrying.”

 **“He can make his own decisions. And you are worrying for nothing. We are just joking.”**  

“Don’t do it to him if you are just joking.” 

 **“I don’t mean that. I like him too. Would you stop twisting my words?”**  

“Fine. We’ll see. But don’t forget, I’m watching you.”

 **“Relax. I’ll just be his knight in shining armour.”**  

“Shut the fuck up.” 

(Call ended.) 

*** 

You look nice today 

 **Who should I thank**  

Karim but tell him to stop sending selfies he doesn’t take my word seriously

 **There is no stopping him now**  

Why are all your friends good looking 

 **Are they?**  

Yeah it’s like your school doesn’t accept anyone who isn’t at least presentable

**Hah I don’t know but now I love my school even more**

Whoaaa 

 **what**  

Sergio sent me a photo of Irina 

She is so fucking hot how could she ever look at you 

 **I wonder that too**  

Cristiano she is like a goddess 

I want more 

**Look at her instagram but don’t wank too much**

**I want you to be energetic enough for rounds with me**

She is really beautiful man. 

**I went to her and she didn’t hiss at me**

**Just glared and rolled her eyes**

**She thanks you and tells you to beware of the asshole in me**  

That’s a very bad way to put it 

**She told me to say it exactly like that**

**She enjoys making a fool of me**  

I don’t blame her. 

 **Neither do I its why I’m following her around like a puppy.**  

I’ll leave you to it then I have to go 

 **Kisses all over you**  

***

Day 14 

**Do you like bottoming or topping**

My adventure of being top went really bad 

It wasn’t my fault though 

 **Of course it wasn’t**  

It was not 

 **Didn’t tell you anything else. Send me a picture of The Dick?**  

Why?

 **I want to know how he looks like you practically know all of my friends**  

Not the same thing besides they keep messaging me 

Sergio and I were talking about La Liga last night we had a spectacular fight he has a dirty mouth 

And Karim sent me two outfits and asked me to choose 

They were both hideous

 **Did you tell him that?**  

Of course 

 **That’s why he looks nice today.**  

Does he really? What is he wearing?

 **White tee and black pants. And red Vans**. 

He really changed it. 

 **THANK YOU.**  

You are not exactly better with your earrings. 

 **You like them**  

Maybe a little bit. 

**I’m never ever taking them off.**

**Did James called or anything?**  

No sorry 

And Anto told me you two talked when I was in PE and she told me I wouldn’t want to know the specifics

 **You really wouldn’t**  

I’m surprised you are still talking to me 

 **I survived Irina’s wrath this is almost nothing compared to that**  

I’ll tell her to increase her venom 

**Not enough to make me step back**

**I have another game on Friday**  

I’ll see my schedule. 

 **Surely you can cancel few dates**  

If you are hotter than them 

 **Of course I am besides don’t you want to watch Sergio when he is 8**  

Can’t miss that 

Why does he like me it’s a wonder he literally shouts at me through texts and then tells me I’m hilarious 

 **Because you told him he was 8**  

 **Iker is getting jealous**  

They are going to have a grand make up sex soon

 **I’ll be careful not to walk on them**  

 **Ask your questions I have practice**  

Rude 

What do you look in a person to be friends with them 

**If they are fun to be around**

**Just like you**  

Exactly I can’t imagine anyone more fun to be around than myself 

What should be changed in schools in your opinion

 **Asshole teachers no doubt**  

Your ideal day? 

**Morning sex, shower, breakfast, doesn’t matter, lunch, doesn’t matter, afternoon sex, shower, dinner, doesn’t matter, night sex, shower, sleep**

Now keep it PG 

 **Mommy’s breakfast, football, shower, lunch, doesn’t matter, dinner, watch football, sleep.**  

This is literally your life isn’t it. 

 **Weekends. I don’t ever want to be done with high school.**  

You are the first student to think that in history of humanity 

Describe your ideal room. 

 **A king size bed, a mirror, an enormous TV and a fridge**  

A hotel room basically 

 **A luxurious one**  

Your favourite time of the year?

 **Around August. It’s still hot and you can get tan and the leagues start but school doesn’t and can you imagine anything better**  

I don’t go out in August just sit in my room 

God bless air conditioning 

Fuck everything it is the invention of the century 

 **You want to take a romantic vacation around august in Italy or anywhere you want for that case?**  

Only for you. I’ll even go out around twelve and let the sun destroy every inch of skin I have

**I’d kiss it better**

More like you would apply creams and blow air to my back 

 **It’s worth if I get to see you shirtless**  

 **Hey what was your boyfriends name again?**  

Ex-boyfriend and I’m not going to tell you I don’t trust you to not to call him or fly to Valencia to stalk him 

 **Don’t make me try and you shouldn’t have told me he lives in Valencia if you really didn’t want me to that**  

You wont find him unless I tell you he is more antisocial than me 

Don’t you have a practice to go anyways 

**HE DOES**

**I’M THE CAPTAIN I HAVE TO TAKE HIM AWAY FROM YOU**

It’s okay no need for capitals. 

(Logged off.) 

*** 

 **David Villa.**  

What? 

 **I learned his name.**  

You are a psychopath. And I was wondering why you were not bothering me. You were too busy looking for my ex’s name.

 **I hope you didn’t let yourself drown in self-pity in my absence. And it was a very hard work I put everyone on duty.**  

It’s past your bedtime you are not making any sense. 

 **I know I can barely keep my eyes open**  

Goodnight Cristiano just go sleep for your morning workout 

 **Goodnight Leo**  

 **I’m glad you broke up with him his beard is weird as fuck**  

He broke up with me but I agree with you 

 **Kiss me goodnight and I’ll sleep like a baby**  

Kisses all over you 

 **Same to you**  


	8. Chapter 8

“Good morning stalker.”

**“Have mercy on my soul Leo. Do you even realise what time is it?”**

“I do and that is why I’m waking you up. Get up and run baby. Can’t have you unless you have killer abs.”

**“Running usually affects legs but you already told me you were rubbish at biology.”**

“Now you believe me. And you know what, I’m running too because I stayed at Anto’s last night and school starts late today.”

**“Ugh, wait a minute, let me change and eat something.”**

“Five minutes and be ready.”

***

“Ready?”

**“I was, three minutes ago.”**

“I don’t doubt it. And you can’t make fun of me when I’m out of breath.”

**“Of course, not everyone is a fitness god like me.”**

“You should think four times before you talk Cristiano.”

**“I don’t filter, please.”**

“How tall are you?”

**“What does this have to do with anything?”**

“I’m preparing myself.”

**“About 185, I think.”**

“God, I hate being small. You can easily ruffle my hair all day without even spraining your arm.”

**“I’d rather do other things to you than ruffle your hair.”**

“You’ll have to wait after tenth date.”

**“Traditional.”**

“Would be more effective if I wasn’t getting fucked in the ass.”

**“I won’t object to being bottom.”**

“Height difference makes it kind of awkward.”

**“We’ll make do, don’t worry.”**

“Why are we even discussing this?”

**“You were the one to the word ‘fuck’ first. I think you are waiting for it.”**

“It’s been a year. Wanking is like eating cracker everyday after having feast.”

**“How much porn do you actually watch? Any preferences? Any favourite porn stars?”**

“Not really my thing. Every once in a while, if images in my head are not enough.”

**“Running makes you horny Leo. That’s I’m sure of.”**

“Talking to you does.”

**“You are so storing wanking material.”**

“I can’t fool you, can I?”

**“We can always sext, and I don’t think I need to tell you that I’m %100 okay with nudes.”**

“I know but I have to protect my purity.”

**“How much can you do that you are into dirty talk and possibly rough sex?”**

“No sex before marriage Cristiano, you have to wait until then to find it out.”

**“Your favourite position?”**

“Marriage Crisitano, why can’t you understand that? Virginity is the most precious gift you can give to a person. Oh my...”

**“What? Why are you laughing like that?”**

“A girl heard me talking and shoot me the weirdest look ever like ‘You are gonna fuck with a man but you are waiting for marriage?’”

**“This is why you should run where old people hang out. They don’t hear you. Oh, this one did.”**

“You are horrible. And it was perfect, let’s do this around my friends, I want to see their faces.”

**“Whenever you want. Now that I know how you’ll sound like when we are in a bed.”**

“Laughing my ass off?”

**“You can’t even say two words without panting Leo.”**

“You’ll do the job, I’m lazy.”

**“I am glad we are agreeing that we’ll bang.”**

“We never disagreed.”

**“Only when you have your self conscious streaks.”**

“You could say that. I don’t know if you can handle me though.”

**“What’s up with you this morning? Not that I’m complaining but when did you get so courageous when talking to me?”**

“You are my puppet, I can say anything.” 

 **“I can handle you, you don’t have to sorry about that. I’m not sure about the bed though.”**  

“Well, since you are a professional footballer and all that shit, I believe you can take me to a fancy hotel room.”

**“With champagne and caviar.”**

“I’d rather swallow your sperms.”

**“Are you doing this so someone hear you and you can have your laugh?”**

“No, I’m being honest.”

 **“Well, it’s affecting me.”**  

“Teenagers. Can’t control themselves to save their lives.”

**“Shut up. I can hear you getting into a house. You are going to get off and I have two kilometres until I’m back to home.”**

“Will it be a motivation for you to get home faster if you hear me jerking myself?”

**“Leo, shut up right now, I’m wearing leggings.”**

“Nice image, you are really helping me out. I’ll even say your name as I come.”

**“Are you really doing it in your friend’s house?”**

“It is a big house, no one will hear. No one but you.”

**“I’m gonna go, I don’t think I can fucking handle this in streets.”**

“Okay, your training photos will have to do.”

**“What the…”**

**(Call ended.)**

***

On my knees and elbows

**What**

My favourite position idiot

**You are soooo sly now I can’t think of anything else in class**

**And I knew it**

****

Day 15

How’s your day going?

**My mom walked on me. She always makes my bed when I’m running.**

It’s not like she didn’t know about it don’t worry

**Your mom seeing you jerking off is never something you can get over quickly**

Could’ve been your father

Oh my god kill me before I say something even more stupid

I’m sorry Cristiano

**Doesn’t matter Leo calm down**

You can call me and yell at me if it I going to make me less of an asshole

**You are not an asshole Leo**

**It was even worse than that time she caught me with a girl in my bed**

**At least we were finished then**

My parents caught me with The Dick

**Seriously? Why didn’t you just lock the door?**

Why didn’t you?

**It’s forbidden in our house because my sister had a tantrum when we locked her in**

I can’t give you a proper reason other than we were too busy to think about that and they were supposed to be out of the town

Hell they were supposed to be in another country

**I see it was a horrible experience**

That’s quite an understatement

**Tell me about it sometime**

**Unfortunately I have to go to stadium in like fifteen minutes**

Oh I see the fame is changing you

**I’ve always been like this babe**

**What’s your happiest memory of all times?**

Champions League Final this year. We totally lost it.

**Dick. Dick. Dick. Dick.**

You seem to think about it TOO MUCH.

**I can’t believe anyone would ever like that crest.**

Oh no Cristinao I had this conversation with Sergio I’m experienced.

**Sergio is quite passionate about this**

“Quite passionate” doesn’t cover it

**Would you kill someone if your life was in danger**

**If you say no I’m gonna kill you**

Can’t let anyone else have the pleasure, very possessive of you. I’d tear them to pieces who the fuck they think they are to threaten my life

**I’m glad to hear you wouldn’t be all human loving and forgiving**

**Would you rather live 30 happy years or 60 average years**

Average is good I’d watch Barca and have sex and drink beer I don’t need anything else

60 years equals 180 cups

**Don’t talk too much when you’ll be cheering for Castilla in hours.**

**Do you want to get married and have kids?**

Yes to marrying but I’m not sure if I want kids world is populated enough

Adoption sounds better

**It’s not like you can get pregnant anyways**

Have you never read fanfiction

**What is it with you and fanfictions?**

You don’t want to know trust me

**Yeah I don’t think I want to know either. Which country you loved most when you travelled to those places?**

Norway was way too beautiful and no sun no sun burnt

**You are really obsessed about it**

And also about you

**Didn’t even think it was worth reminding you**

**If you had to watch one movie for the rest of your life, what would it be?**

Brokeback Mountain

**Gay**

I’m joking

**I get that Leo what do you take me for**

Oh god

I was serious

I tried you

**I don’t know what to say**

It’s a good movie

**I still don’t know what to say Leo**

Let’s just forget about it

**Best option really**

**I’m leaving Leo watch me closely**

Okay good luck

***

What the fuck what the fuck what the fuck

Why did you just do that

I was watching the match with neymar and anto

Anto is still teasing me about it

Neymar poster on instagram asap

**I counted on him actually Sergio made him promise he’d watch the game**

I’m gonna kill you

**Come on it was a very low possibility that I scored 5 goals**

What does it have to do anything with 5 goals

**A bet Sergio and I had**

I’m gonna kill him too then

**Come on it was a very cute photo**

We both looked ridiculous and who did that ugly thing

**Karim he had a lot of fun let me tell you**

**What do you think about my five goals**

Goalkeeper was so shit that I could save at least three of your shots

**You think so? Maybe we should try it**

We shall

But seriously is this the result of a bet you won

**No Sergio won**

**I said 6 goals**

YOU ARROGANT FUCK

ONLY IF YOU DIDN’T MISS THAT LAST ONE

ONLY THING YOU HAD TO WAS TO SNIFF ON THE BALL AND IT WOULD BE AT THE BACK OF THE NET

**Hey I was fouled**

Fuck off you just dived

**HE PUSHED ME**

YOU ARE LIKE GIANT HOW COULD HE PUSH YOU THAT HARD

**I was running Leo**

**Running really fast**

**It was a cute photoshop anyways**

Only if it wasn’t made public

**Come on ponytails really suited us**

And a body of a goat was inevitable.

**IT WAS CUTEEEEEEE**

**SEE**

Yeah it is kinda cute

Still fuck you

**You may**

I still want to strangle you everyone’s making fun of me

**Just shoot them your bitchiest smile**

I don’t have a bitchy smile unlike you

Do you even have a smile which is not bitchy

**You only saw me in matches they don’t count I actually smile like a Disney princess**

Enough to scar kids for life if Disney princesses smiled like you

Your friends take a lot of time to tell me embarrassing stories about you

They all have my number

**Which embarrassing stories? And I don’t go around giving your number at all it’s all sergio’s fault tell him to stop**

I did and I used a very stern tone but I don’t know if he’ll comply

I have a video of you falling to the ground when you were trying to get past an opponent

**Those fuckers which one was it I’m going to kill him**

Oh it was irina

**Really?**

No, I’m fucking with you isn’t she too cool to mess with me

**Mess with me Leo they are all doing these to piss me off**

Is it working

**Not really you are not freaking out so I’m not either**

**Besides you need to know my darker sides before we go out**

Oh I see I agree that it would shake our relationship if I found out one drop of whiskey is enough to make you cry for hours

And the way your face changes when you see the one next to you has boner

**That’s not my fault why would he get a boner in the middle of a training**

Who was it

**Sergio of course who else**

Oh god you really controlled yourself well I would’ve screamed

And Sergio sent it to me I’m speechless

**I’m going to give him a silence treatment too**

Look at me driving you away your friends without being there 

Who knows what I can make you do once we see each other

**Make me get on my knees between your legs**

I would like that

**I  know**

**I need to sleep Leo I’m sorry**

Of course you need to catch up on your sleep I noticed the signs you missed your beauty sleep

**You must have looked really hard**

I did

And I liked what I saw

And Cris

**Yeah**

You were amazing you deserve to go professional

**Thank you Leo**

**It means a lot to me**

Just stating the facts

Goodnight princess

**Call me Aurora**

You are perfect


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a clarification about the timeline so it makes some sense in case I was messing things up. In this story, Barcelona won the treble last year and they are now in April, and Champions League quarterfinals are taking place soon.

Would you prefer coming to Barcelona or would you want me to come to Madrid

 **Whatever works for you Leo both fine for me as long as I get to see you**  

Well I’d rather come there 

Not that you are not welcome but I can’t promise you a comfortable environment 

I want to see you too 

 **I understand and it’s fine with me**  

**My mom will be pleased she was looking forward to meeting you**

**She wonders about the boy his son stalks religiously**  

She will still wonder why you stalked me when we meet 

How you found David is beyond me

 **Money bitch**  

You know I’m not with you because of your money 

 **I know it’s because of my body**  

You wish 

I’ll talk to someone about the arrangements 

 **Okay**  

What are you doing today?

**No training I’m free as a bird**

What you gonna do then it will not be your ideal day 

**I’ll have to manage momma is making some delicious shit right now**

**What about you**  

I don’t know I’m still hiding at Anto’s. Her parents are cool but I don’t know how long they can resist my mom’s demands 

 **What demands?**  

She wants me back at home and she can be insisting (I mean bitchy) 

I’m still holding on though 

**What’s happening?**

**I don’t want to interfere but it seems to bother you**  

To be honest I’m at a loss 

Just promise me you wont feel bad or treat me differently

 **I wont treat you differently what do you expect, flattery?**  

Right 

They think you are my boyfriend 

Also abusing me 

**Out of all things I expected to hear, this was definitely not one of them**

I’m really sorry

**Don’t be it’s not your fault or anything**

**I don’t know what to say**

That’s a first 

 **No actually remember brokeback mountain**  

Shut up about that 

**I mean I don’t understand how**

**Did they overheard us talking or are they friends with some teachers and somehow they read our conversations?**

No they saw our messages 

Remember when I said your friends were messaging me 

 **Yeah**  

Well they noticed that I’m receiving a lot of messages and apparently my father thought he was allowed to go through my messages when I wasn’t around 

Let me tell you he wasn’t supposed to know my passcode 

Then he was throwing a fit because he couldn’t ignore all that sexiness to pretend he never saw them 

They also saw my wanking material 

No worries though they didn’t delete them

**No need to worry even if they did I’m the source**

**You have every right to leave home give them all the shit you can**  

Mom’s really upset she has been trying to be okay with this for a long time I know she is trying I know it must be hard to overcome everything she was taught 

But I’m really done with my father you know 

I don’t want to go back even for my mom

**I know how it feels**

You do? 

 **Trust me, I do. I know how it feels to want nothing to do with someone who is supposed to love you. But it’ll be fine, you will be legal soon and you’ll do whatever that mysterious thing you are going to do and they can’t touch you if you don’t want them to**  

Hopefully because I’m not going to stand there and listen him whine about my life choices 

And I think he is happy that I’m not home he thinks I’ll fall in love with Anto if I stay with her long enough 

 **I think you are doing the right thing**  

I know but I’ll have to go back sooner or later

Or my father will turn up at school 

I think I’ll have to bribe my mom to make him back off for a week 

 **When’s your birthday**  

June 

**June what**

24\. Two months and I’m out of that house forever. 

 **Where are you going to stay?**  

We are thinking of getting a flat together with Anto. 

I’ll just tag along with her family in summer. It will be embarrassing. 

 **So you’ll stay in Barcelona.**  

Your first clue.

 **I won’t tell a soul if you tell me what it is.**  

You’d have a heart attack. 

 **Worth it.**  

**I have to go, my mom is calling for me**

**And then I’m meeting Irina wish me luck**

Good luck 

Lots of love from the bottom of my heart 

To the lady 

 **Bitch**  

*** 

**She said she put on weight because of the chocolates I sent her but I can assure you she didn’t**

**That bitch works out**  

You are finally forgiven then 

**Yes and I had to listen her fawn over her boyfriend for three hours**

**She is totally smitten**

Is his boyfriend hot? He has to be to nail that girl.

 **(I nailed that girl.)**  

That doesn’t count you were a prick. 

**I am fucking forgiven I don’t want to remember those dark times.**

**Everyone seems to think he is a god but I don’t see it.**

**Just see it yourself.**

**(Image)**  

He’s fine but you are right 

But how the old is he 

**I didn’t dare to ask but at least 5 years older**

**Probably more**  

Enough about Irina 

I hear you like Justin Bieber

 **That’s an utter lie**  

(Image) 

Really? 

**That’s fucking 4 years ago I don’t like him anymore**

I think you do

How much did you scream at his concert 

 **Not at all. I was bored quickly and left.**  

So you didn’t wait three hours after the concert was finished to have an autograph. 

 **I have an autograph at least I succeeded.**  

Super 

As long as you love me I can ignore this 

 **That’s one of his new songs I wasn’t even a fan when he recorded this song**  

I am not sure about that 

**Fuck okay I still like him**

**But I am not a crazy fan anymore**

Good 

I don’t want to share your attention 

**I would never**

**You look good with blaugrana I have to admit by the way**

So do you 

 **I have never touched that vile thing do not insult me like that**  

I mean Real Madrid shirt stupid 

 **Well its elegance does wonders**  

Of course how else you were going to be presentable 

Why Real? It could’ve been Atletico, since I guess you were not born in Spain and you didn’t have anyone to influence you into supporting them. 

 **I was not. And Real gave me everything I ever could ask for. It’s something I could never repay but it’s okay since they are not asking me to. My loyalty will always belong to this club.**  

If they are the reason we are here talking then I can at least be grateful

 **So you should be**  

Are you watching the Barcelona match 

 **I guess, or at least until I can’t stomach the vulgarity of those shirts anymore**  

Of course 

We are going to go to the match and we’re going to have some drinks before that to get into the spirit

 **I want to wish you luck**  

I understand don’t worry 

**Oh the dilemma**

**Have fun**  

*** 

**sakjnkfgjsnkvs Leo**

**I don’t know if I should be sorry for you**

**But you lost spectacularly**

**I’m still giggling**  

Shut up

I need to hear that life goes on 

**Does it?**

Yours won’t if you keep this up.

 **“I’m sorry Leo.”**  

“I’d be more convinced if I you didn’t laugh.” 

 **“I’m not laughing.”**  

“I appreciate the effort but you are failing.” 

 **“I’m really sorry… Is someone crying?”**  

“Yeah, that’s Geri. He never copes with defeats well and alcohol doesn’t help. Cesc is trying to calm him down but he is barely better.” 

 **“Can I talk to him?”**  

“Fuck off.”

 **“Or just scoot closer to them so I can hear what he says.”**  

“No, I’m leaving the room. Besides it’s Catalan. I hope I can find peace somewhere.” 

 **“Where will you stay tonight?”**  

“At Cesc’ home. And I’ll be here tomorrow too.” 

**“You guys need to stick together to get over tonight. Understandable.”**

“I hope Atletico crushes you.”

**“No fucking way…”**

**“…Shut your fucking mouth!”**  

“Hello Sergio, I see you haven’t changed. How is going?” 

 **“Fucking amazing. Your team looks so fit and so does your goalkeeper. I wonder if we can trick him into joining us next year.”**  

“Shut up, he is usually fine. I hear he broke up with his girlfriend.”

 **“Well then, I guess you won’t buy a new goalkeeper next year.”**  

“Not a chance.”

 **“I thought you said he was fine.”**  

“Barcelona is not okay with ‘just fine’. This is the biggest club in the world for God’s sake.” 

**“Castilla is a bigger team than yours…”**

**“…Of course it is. It has me.”**  

“You need to work on your arrogance if you don’t want to be beaten up by real professionals on the pitch.” 

 **“Please, I can take them down anytime. I gotta go, I need to drive Sergio to his home.”**  

“Don’t be too late to sleep.” 

 **“Be strong and don’t cry.”**  

*** 

My dad came to pick me up from Cesc’ house this morning 

I went without a hassle because I don’t everyone to know 

But honestly it took a lot of self-restraint not to carve his eyes with his stupid glasses 

I guess you are at training 

**I was**

**I’m glad you didn’t kill your father I can’t stand to see my sweetheart in jail**  

Ugh me too can’t have sex there

**We’d figure it out**

**How is it back at home?**  

Mom’s bringing me food and asking me if I want anything and keeping her husband away from me

 **This doesn’t sound half bad**  

I can survive another two months if it goes like this 

*spoiler* 

It wont 

**Be optimistic**

**And you will be here next week**  

Pray for it Cristiano 

Just keep praying for it 

 **I will babe I can’t wait until we have the house for ourselves**  

**I hope you are just busy because you really can’t start being shy again**

I’m not but guess who called me

 **Antonella? She seems to be the only one you talk to**  

Fuck off I was with Geri and Cesc just today 

 **I apologise please do tell me**  

Your apology is accepted 

 **You have a big heart**  

It was James he was miserable he asks if you talked to me about him he was making those whiny puppy noises I was heartbroken 

I said you mentioned being hurt because of him

 **Did you really said I was hurt I’m not fucking hurt I’m just pissed off**  

I actually said you were being a pain in the ass because you had no one to moon over 

And he couldn’t help himself and made a gay sex joke 

It was terrible and he laughed at his own joke really loud

 **He does that but tell him I’m still angry he has to come to me and kiss me his apology**  

Oh my god 

 **I’m a princess he has to**  

Fine I will but you guys are so fucking weird 

How was training today? 

 **I’m sure you have more information than me Lionel dear**  

You have such a sweet ass 

Do you squat 

 **No all natural**  

Lies 

**It’s a part of our training**

Wait up I’m going to call you in a few minutes 

“Hey, how are you?” 

 **“A little bit tired. Hard training today.”**  

“That’s the cost. And I’m waiting for your loss.” 

**“No a single chance. Their defence are their weakest point, and Kaka will their them apart.”**

“We’ll see. I’m watching you.” 

 **“Try to find me in stands.”**  

“Why else would I watch? And why are there so many people in Castilla from your school? Are you school connected to the club?” 

 **“They usually make us go here because it’s close to the training grounds and we can arrange the schedules around games.”**  

“Makes sense. How many of you guys are going to make it to the main team?” 

 **“Don’t know for sure but me, Iker and Sergio seem to. Many of the guys you saw are younger so they won’t have the chance just yet. And most of us are going to be loaned even if we get to sign.”**  

“You too?” 

 **“I’d rather go for a few years where I can have some playing time. But if they chose to have me here that’s fine too.”**  

“Do you have offers?” 

 **“A few from from Portugal, Belgium and Netherlands.”**  

“That’s really amazing Cristiano. Do you really wish to go?” 

**“I don’t want to rot on the bench. No matter how much I love the club, this is not the best place to shine. Besides me, James and Fabio have an offer from same club. That will be the best I believe.”**

“For how long?” 

**“I don’t know about details yet, we are waiting for season to finish and I won’t think about transferring before I go to vacation. But Portugal seems to be the best option because my family was waiting for an opportunity to go back.”**

“So when you come back to Spain, they won’t come back with you. “ 

**“No and they are going back to Portugal at any cost because I’m the youngest child and they are sick of being away from home. So if I go to Portugal, I will be home for at least a year and I will be with my family.”**

“I understand. I hope it will be the best for you.” 

 **“Thank you. It’s scaring me, you know, I don’t want to make a wrong decision and throw a possible career away.”**  

“Even if doesn’t go smooth like it does now, you know you have Real behind you to at least give you another chance.”

**“This is Los Galacticos. You hardly have a second chance.”**

“You can beg, you are pretty enough.” 

 **“Do you think I can make Mourinho swoon for me?”**  

“Absolutely. You make me swoon for you. I’m the catch.”

 **“I wished for nothing else. But Leo, everything aside, are you doing fine?”**  

“Yeah, don’t be fooled that I look fragile. I have a thick skin.” 

 **“I’m here to listen you whine and get you off, whatever that is you need at that moment, you know that right? I’m rubbish at comforting people but you can be sure that I’m just sitting awkwardly trying to say something to relax you a bit, at least.”**  

“I know, both means a lot. But you gotta leave now, unless you want to miss your team’s warm-ups. I hear you are very fond of them.” 

 **“I have a thing for stretching. Just like you. Talk to you later.”**  

“Later.”


	10. Chapter 10

One of these days it will be too late and my mom won’t be able to save my dick of a father

Let’s just hope I will be able to get away with it

**What happened?**

He doesn’t want to send me to Madrid

**He still thinks you are my boyfriend?**

Even though he knows we never met personally, yes.

**But you are still coming, right?**

Of course I wouldn’t miss it for the world

 **Good.**  

**I’m going to ask for arrangements today**

Keep me informed

**Will do**

**The Tits is very small**

Smaller than me would you believe it? And his hands…..

So fucking lovely.

**I don’t think the other way is possible**

He is very cute isn’t it?

I want him to be my child 

**Yes he is why does he even look at The Dick**

**Same goes for you he is so weird WHY**  

He is funny 

And very good at bed 

And he has that bad boy aura

Besides The Tits and The Dick believe they are each other’s soulmates

**I wish I died without knowing this I can imagine dinner in fancy restaurants, staring in each other’s eyes**

Don’t forget the hand holding and shy smiles over wine glasses

 **I might puke**  

There is more 

 **No let’s change the subject I don’t want to know**  

The Dick proposed to The Tits last week 

**What what what what**

**How old are they**  

The Dick is 20 and The Tits is 18 

 **WHY**  

The Dick is afraid The Tits will leave him 

 **Serves him right I wont feel bad for him**  

But The Tits told him they should wait until he is done with uni 

**Priceless**

**The Dick is quite hopeless then**

Hopelessly in love

 **They both stay in Valencia then?**  

That’s the best part 

The Tits is leaving to Manchester 

And The Dick has to finish uni first to go to him 

What a plot twist 

**This is seriously perfect**

I actually feel bad for The Dick if I’m honest he left home for him but than The Tits had to take this opportunity

**Nah he had it coming**

**Why don’t you write a book based on this Leo**  

Who say I’m not? 

**Riiiiiiiight**

**Oh god James is coming I need to look pretty**  

Cumming you mean 

***

**James is the most perfect human being in this world**

**How did I survive without him**

**We have been making love for three hours**

**It was very enjoyable**

**(Image)**

**See how awesome he is**

**See how cute he is when he puckers his lips**  

You are an idiot 

Glad you guys made up 

I’m sure sex was phenomenal 

AND GET YOUR ASS TO YOUR COMPUTER 

**Calm down I know you are jealous but……**

*** 

Day 16 

I saw Sergio and you on TV yesterday

**Yeah mom told me about that**

**Looks like we are making it through**  

Commentator was so shocked that Real was not buying but actually producing

 **Like Barcelona is any different**  

Barcelona is a lot different bae you know that

**Whatever**

**They want to talk about my contract soon**

**Probably this week**

**I’m shitting my pants Leo**  

You’ll be fine where did overly confident Cristiano go

 **Real Madrid is too good to be true**  

They will want you no matter what 

 **I hope so or I might begin a career as a stripper**  

What can I say it would suit you 

 **Would you watch me?**  

How much for a private night show? 

 **Less if you are a regular.**  

Let’s talk about the finances when we look eye to eye.

**Agreed.**

**You are coming to Madrid by the way. Talked to the principal**  

Is he your puppet?

 **Another one of my fans.**  

Everyone’s so eager to please you. 

 **And no one does it better than you.**  

No one will be able to after I have my way with you.

 **Waiting for it.**  

I need to ask the questions.

 **Go ahead**  

Do you like black&white films? 

 **Nah I don’t have the patience. Once my sister tried to make me watch one of those and she was quite determined but I was faster.**  

I love black&white films. I have a collection.

 **No no we ain’t gonna watch those I love myself**  

Vintage porn? 

 **Not even porn. Let’s stick to modern days.**  

Brat. What are your plans for the holiday? 

 **Is this your question or your teachers’?**  

Both. 

Hey did you know the computers count the words like “sex, porn, ass etc.” 

 **SERIOUSLY?**  

Yeah and we don’t even top the list 

**Who does?**

Are you ready?

**Get on with it so I can kill them**

Sergio and Neymar

 **I was waiting for an opportunity to kill Sergio**  

So was I 

 **What have Sergio ever done to you?**  

I wasn’t referring him but do you want to hear the answer nevertheless? 

 **No I don’t like to be embarrassed behalf of others**  

You’ll learn one day anyway.

Answer the question.  

 **I’ll go to Portugal first, then I’ll come back to Madrid whenever Sergio does.**  

What if you get transferred? 

 **Then I’ll go to wherever the rest of the squad goes when the season starts.**  

I see. 

I hope you wont have to leave for a country that is far away.

 **Exactly I can’t imagine myself in a cold country**  

Gotta keep your skin golden 

 **You know me too well**  

When was the last time you cried? 

 **I don’t actually remember because I cry on a regular basis.**  

I wanna see that

 **No you don’t your libido will go down down down down**  

I want proof 

I’ll ask Sergio for some

He owes me a life debt for all those times he called me for a relationship advice 

 **I told you not to tell me**  

Iker is having premature ejaculation problems 

 **FUCK YOU LEO**  

I told him to reduce stress and I added if it doesn’t work they should see a doctor 

**STOP**

**YOU ARE DISGUSTING**  

And Sergio should stand by his side when they go there that he shouldn’t leave him alone on a serious task like this 

I suffered more Cristiano trust me

**I don’t think so**

**I’ll hate you forever**  

We are in this together 

 **I’ll delete your number from his phone don’t worry**  

He memorised it 

**What the fuck he doesn't have the brains to memorise anything**

Yes 

He called me from his mom’s phone and told me I have a very easy number to remember 

It’s all done there is no return from this 

 **You can find me tomorrow by the pool with a dagger in my chest**  

Take me with you 

 **I’ll wait until you come here**  

Good because I can’t stay at this world without you 

What’s your spirit animal? 

**Patronus bitch.**

Forgive me.

 **You answer that.**  

Rat?

 **Fuck you. More like a cheetah.**  

This actually right

 **Graceful and gorgeous.**  

Shut up. Maybe rooster. 

 **Would you rather a rooster fuck you or a cheetah?**  

Neither? 

**LEO**

**YOU ARE SO SHREWD**  

No you are too slow 

 **Not at all I’m a cheetah**  

What would you like to change about yourself in character-wise?

 **I don’t know to be honest everything seems to be in place**  

Do you want a hint?

 **Too funny for the mankind?**  

Be serious. 

**I’d rather be less angry.**

**You didn’t see that side of me but I flare too quickly and it doesn’t end well.**  

Okay. I wrote that. 

I want to top that list. 

 **Me too. Let’s start.**  

Porn. 

 **Sex.**  

Butthole 

**Dick**

Prick

 **Pussy**  

Anal 

 **Oral**  

BDSM

 **Rimming**  

Booty

 **Boobs**  

Balls.

 **Does that count? Fuck.**  

Don’t know but it won’t hurt to try. Tits. 

 **Cum.**  

Cunt.

 **Cock.**  

I think we are good now.

 **Yeah, good job.**  

See you later then. 

Yeah, I can’t be late to the practice.

***

 **How’s home?**  

They are out for dinner. They asked me to come but I just made a bitch face 

 **I thought you didn’t have one.**  

Now I do.

 **Send it to me.**  

No. That’s so last century. 

 **Oh someone’s shy**  

You knew that already

 **But you are not updating your insta and your friends are not helpful either**  

I forbid them to post my pictures 

**You are a dick**

**And so are your friends**

**None of them gives in**

They are good friends you see 

 **They are just afraid of your wrath**  

Maybe but why would they be I’m tiny and harmless 

**I feel like these are the last of the words many people heard before they died**

**Why are we even texting**

**“So you are alone at home?”**  

“Yes but don’t get any ideas.” 

 **“So you aren’t jacking off, imagining me?”**  

“No. I’m not a sex driven teenage like some people I know.” 

 **“Do you like it rough?”**  

“Not appropriate. Change the subject.”

 **“Come on we need to know each other preferences to avoid future awkwardness.”**  

“You don’t get to fuck me when I’m a guest in your house.”

 **“We’ll find another place.”**  

“We hardly have two days.” 

**“We are teenagers. Just imagine how many times we can come in that time.”**

 

“I’m sure you know how many times you can come in one day.” 

 **“Seven. Sergio’s record is a lot better.”**  

“Please, it’s eleven. I know every fucking detail about Sergio’s sex life or sex experiments or fantasies.”

 **“He is doing it to annoy you.”**  

“Why?”

 **“Because that’s how he shows that he likes you.”**  

“Maybe he should see a psychiatrist when he takes Iker to a doctor." 

 **“He doesn’t accept that he needs help. Back to our point, do you like it rough?”**  

“For fucks sake, yes, I do.”

 **“Good. So do I. Blindfolds?”**  

“Maybe. Didn’t try it.” 

 **“Handcuffs?”**  

“Sometimes.” 

 **“Nice. Do you like riding cock?”**  

“If I’m not lazy but… Are you using a checklist?” 

 **“Well, yeah, so I don’t forget anything.”**  

“Burn it before someone sees it.” 

 **“No one will see it. I’m in my room.”**  

“I know that, idiot but your mom might see it. Destroy it.” 

 **“Fine. Hear? I’m tearing it apart.”**  

“You better. Shit, they came back. I have to go, they have to think I’m asleep or they might try to talk to me.” 

 **“Good night, cock rider.”**  

“You fu….”

**(Call ended.)**

**

Idiot

**Shh just sleep.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> David Silva is the most perfect human being, I can’t help but bring him in every chance I get.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for taking too long to update. I had a massive writer's block and I can honestly say I was busy because my summer holiday is over now and I'm starting university. Tomorrow to be exact and yeah, I had things to take care of too. A lot of people mentioned my updating frequency was a big factor for them to like this story, so I hope you are still interested. Enjoy!

I hate life  
  
**Good morning to you too I agree it's such a beautiful day to walk up to**

  
I hate life and I hate you  
  
**I also agree to that to I am a sight to behold**

Vanity is a sin  
**  
****I** **t's not vanity if it's true**

  
I won’t bother correcting you you are far gone

You need someone in your life to keep you in line

**That would be you of course**

I'm glad we have an understanding about this 

I want this year to be over NOW 

 **try to make yourself busy with different things and it will be  
******  
You'll blink and miss it

  
Not our two days together hopefully

  
**We'll make it count ;)**

  
Did you really just use that smiley

  
**Why not it's sexy**

  
It's idiotic

  
**But on me?**

Double the idiocy.

 **You are so harsh on me.**  

Are you on a run? 

 **Yeah, sorry for taking too long to reply.**  

No, I need my lover to be hot. Run faster. 

 **It's all for you. I'll text you later.**  
  
***

 **Everyone's fighting.**  

Why? 

 **Because there is turmoil about who's going to Barcelona and who is going to stay.**  

**Not about ours though, we slayed it when we informed the principal before everyone else.**

Your bitch you mean. 

**And you know it.**

**How's it going there?**

  
Fine but I'm hungry and I need to eat soon or I'm going to die

  
**You won't die**  
  
Ugh such a drama queen 

Shut it 

I need to go to class see you during our very reasonable chat seasons 

 **See ya**  
  
***  
  
Oh God 

This is the cutest thing anyone has ever done to me 

Fuck romantic meals what I needed was Burger King and you knew it 

Thank you 

**Anything for my little baby boy**

Don't ruin it  
  
***  
  
Day 17

**Just three more days**

**And you'll see my fabulous face**  

Just three more days until I can smash your nose and break it with a toilet paper roll **  
**

**My nose is a gift for humanity you can't just spoil it**  

I have no respect for world wonders  
**  
****I'm disappointed in you to be honest**  

I'll make it up later 

 **Is that a promise**  

Do you want it to be 

**Yes million times yes**

Then it is a promise 

 **Call me when you are available tonight, okay?**  

It will be a fucking booty call

**It will be my first phone sex I'm so excited**

**And horny**  

What a weak ass bitch shut up before I change my mind 

 **Soooooooooooo**  

 **What's your least favourite subject in school?**  

Anything about maths, science etc. I can’t choose one and top of it all, I’m really bad at these. 

 **Maybe you never tried.**  

You sound like school’s counsellor 

That’s a bad thing 

 **I’m encouraging you to study bitch**  

Not gonna happen after years of not studying to these I wont have to use any of it anyways 

 **I’m not even going to argue with this because you sound so miserable**  

**But you are giving me some clues about your mysterious future profession**

No I’m not, you are going to the wrong direction 

 **You would say that but I don’t believe you**

**Since when do you use your cell phone?**  

Sixth grade. After I got depressed because all of my friends had it and I didn’t. 

Of course not even the half of them had it and my parents knew but they just played along with me 

 **And you used it only for games like Sonic and snake**  

And tetris 

Good old days 

 **That game was iconic**

**Do you have a favourite picture?**  

Ugh I don’t know 

I have a photo from when I was four or five with a green dress 

I look so freaking adorable 

 **I want that photo**  

I’ll send it to you after, you know 

 **Yeah yeah, no need to add childhood photos before that**

**What do you drink to cool your body when it’s too hot?**

**Apart from cum of course**  

Of course bae, I understood it before you mentioned it 

Coke for sure 

I’d die for that shit

 **There are some rumours that mice is in the receipt**  

I don’t even care

But are you sure 

 **You ate mice Leo**  

Fuck off

 **How often do you shower?**  

Everyday at least???

 **I sense a lie here**  

Okay okay 

If I have to leave the house or I can stay dirty for a few days. When I don’t have to see anyone. 

 **Spill**  

A week is my record. It was winter break and Anto was out of the town

 **You didn’t leave the house for a week**

**It’s disgusting**

Good to know you find it disgusting that I didn’t leave the house but not that I didn’t have a bath 

 **Do I need to mention that**  

I was just thirteen

Puberty hit me hard

 **Oh I know those times**  

 **Too many wanking**  

I wasn’t wanking during that week Cristiano 

 **Sure**

**Tea, coffee or me?**  

Coffee first, then tea and never you

 **Dick.**

**I hate you**  

I hate you more . 

 **Flirting**  

Who are you 

**You are so fucking stupid**

Sergio 

**You cool man**

**You cool**

**I love you**

Yeah I know

**Iker punched me when I told him we should go to the doctor**

I told you not to say that 

 **Yeah I know**

**I’ll listen to you from now on**  

Finally 

Give Cristiano back 

 **Sexsexsexsexsex**  

You won’t get it anytime soon obviously

 **Neither will you**  

Ya think?

I want Cristiano back

 **Whatever**

**I’m back**  

You asked 6 questions again

 **You fell for it again**

**And I have to go**

**Practice**

**I never hated practice more than I do right now**  

Just think about tonight 

 **You just made it even harder**  

*** 

Are you fine? 

I like your friends a lot they like to keep me updated 

You are obviously their king so they assume it’s their priority to send me sexy snaps of you instead of focusing on their training 

I loved the boner 

You seem well endowed 

I hope you know how to use all that 

Well, I’ll know in no time right? 

 **Leo you are unbelievable**

**Here I was thinking I could get rid of this**

**And now you came and it’s just like I was running around a circle**  

Don’t get yourself off

 **Leo what the fuck**  

***

 **I’m home**  

“Is there anyone in the house?”

 **“No, all clear. Hear, I even locked the door. Just in case.”**  

“Are you naked?”

 **“No, what? I don’t go around naked!”**  

“You don’t just stand in front of a mirror and flex your muscles and wink at yourself?”

**“Rarely. Haven’t had time for that since you came into my life.”**

….. 

“I don’t think we can do this without being too awkward.”

 **“Neither do I.”**  

“I’m sorry.” 

 **“It’s alright. I started to shake anyway.”**  

“Go on, have fun. I’ll just talk here.”

**“Are you for real?”**

“Yeah, I mean, we kind of agreed that explicit phone sex suddenly seemed too awkward but that doesn’t mean you can’t wank while we are talking.”

 **“This is still phone sex.”**  

“It is but definitely something we can pull off.”

 **“Yeah, okay. So Leo, tell me about your day.”**  

“Okay. So, last night I couldn’t sleep easily because there was some drunk people and they were being too loud. It’s kind of hot these days, blame global warming, so my window was open. I heard them all too clearly and apparently they live here because they didn’t leave and some people called police finally. I don’t even know why I didn’t do that in the first place. Are you still there?” 

**“Yeah, yeah. Go on. Police. You were talking about the police”**

“Oh, okay, you seem to be going well. Police arrived and took them, they were probably minors and police just took them to their homes. Their families will punish them enough as it is, no need to add to their misery. After I witnessed all that drama, I fell asleep around three am, only to be waken up at seven, by my father on the top. Not the first face I would like to see, let’s say, though it is an understatement. It is hardly bearable, because I have fantastic self control you would be envious of but there are some times that I think you should learn self control from Sergio, so that means actually very little… It really turns you on when I insult you.”

 **“When you insult me playfully.”**

“Shit. I’m getting hard too.”

**“It really turns you on when you bicker with me. Even when I don’t take part in it.”**

“God, it’s your turn to talk.”

**“Right. Ugh, I fell asleep as I put my head on the pillow or at least I can’t remember if I had trouble falling asleep but I remember how I woke up. It is one of the best ways to wake up. A wake up blowjob is the best, some say, I mean Sergio, but does it get better than seeing Leo whine in the morning, imagining him pulling a wry face? Or does it get better than that he thinks of me to text first? It was a very beautiful day to wake up to indeed, even though he thought I was teasing. And yes, of course, he knows that I was totally serious when I said I was gorgeous. My mom tells me so. She always said I was the most gorgeous boy in the whole fucking world even when I had the weirdest teeth and my skin was covered with pimples. And I know Leo agrees with her because even if I never mention it to him, his best friend and me have talked occasionally after she tried to patronise me. She casually mentions me not to hurt him because apparently he actually likes me, apparently he trusts me more than he trust anyone even though we have never seen each other in real life. And she doesn’t need to worry because under all of these teasing and arrogant remarks, I really care about this petite boy enough to spend every awake minute thinking about meeting him and making him laugh and kissing him and maybe pining him down on the bed and becoming closer more than ever, for a little amount of time, a little amount of time that I’m sure will be very precious to me despite everything that might happen. Because even we never touched or smiled at each other, I know that he will leave his mark in my life. I want to kiss every inch of his skin, I want to kiss and bite and lick until he forgets about every ridiculous that he isn’t gorgeous and cute in every way. I want to make him lose his mind until he can only sense our joined bodies… And I welcome it. I welcome every kind of pain, hurt or heartbreak that might come later because one moment of happiness, or maybe love will be worth all that with him…Leo? Are you crying?”**

“No, shut up. Did you really come in the middle of a emotional rant?”

 **“Did you really cry after coming?”**  

“Shut up, I get emotional after sex. Let’s just not forget about how you stopped to finish yourself.” 

**“It was all your voice from before. And don’t sniff, I hate it.”**

“Okay, sorry.”

**“This won’t change anything between us, right?”**

“No, you are doomed. Now I know I can make you kneel before me with a snap of my fingers.”

**“How does anyone think you are innocent?”**

“They realise at some point. When it’s too late. And just for your information, I’m not petite.” 

 **“What are you talking about?”**  

“You just mentioned me as a petite boy. I’m not. You’ll now.” 

 **“Don’t you want to sit on my lap?”**  

“I’ll do that too. And, uhm, I need to take a shower.” 

**“Yeah, me too. See you later then.”**

“Soon.”

***

Goodnight Cristiano.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So so so cheesy. I don't know what happened to me. Feedback is always welcome! :)


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look who is back!! I can't actually believe it took me this long to update but better late than never. It was a combination of writer's block and the start of school and that I wasn't in my country for a while. It would've taken a lot longer than this if it wasn't for your nice comments, encouraging me to write and update! So I thank you for sticking with me and I hope you like this :)
> 
> (I haven't reread this because I'm too eager to post this, so ignore any typos and grammatical errors you find.)

**I feel so gorgeous today**

**I wouldn’t change anything with this body**

**I bet you are dreaming of me naked and I don’t blame you**  

I also hear water is wet 

Do you usually wake up at four am and have narcissistic urges to text people about how awesome you are

 **You boost my ego**  

Do I now 

How do I turn it off

 **Knowing someone as awesome as you like me is the reason I’m pleased with myself so much**  

Gross 

Utterly gross 

I’M a good fucking person I don’t deserve this

**Or course bae**

**Do you deep throat**  

Straight up to the point I don’t know if I’m bothered by your forwardness or glad that you didn’t waste my time 

And it is seven in the morning is this what you wanna know about me at this time

 **Yes**  

How big are you 

 **You’ve seen the photos take a wild guess**  

Tiny 

 **It is not and you know that**  

I deepthrothed David but he isn’t particularly big 

**Well I’m fucking sure I’m larger than he is**

You don’t know that 

**You are insulting me**

**There is no way, I repeat, no way in this universe that bearded weirdo has a bigger dick than me**  

Send me a photo

**(Image)**

whoaa i really didn’t expect you to send it 

sorry to disappoint you but you are not that perfect in this area 

 **fucking liar**  

okay okay 

well you are bigger 

a lot bigger

i can’t deepthraot it easily

 **we will have practice don’t worry**  

that’s what i like to hear

**leo**

**I want to see you after this weekend too**

**In summer and in the next year**

**Not just for one time but repeatedly**  

Why don’t you wait until we meet to say these 

 **I know myself I don’t need to wait to be sure of what I’m feeling**  

You are so gone for me i would laugh my ass off if I wasn’t too

 **And you say I’m the dick one**  

I never said that 

But you are anyways 

Now shut up I have some things to attend 

 **You do?**  

Hmm 

Can you imagine? 

My brother is not in town 

I have the room all for myself

And the doors locked

**Close your eyes and pretend that it’s my cock inside you**

**I would give so much to be there now**  

How’d you knw I was fingering myselg

**Please**

**You obviously don’t type well with your left hand**  

im lefty 

**You know what I mean**

**Go straight ahead to three Leo**

**Stick them hard and deep**

**So you can feel me every time you move today**

**Fuck yourself as hard as I would fuck you**  

 **I take your silence as a proof that you came**  

Shiiiiit 

Sexting is definitely less awkward than phone sex 

**It is**

**Even your thought was enough to make me cum in minutes**  

We better last longer than this 

 **We have time for both**  

My gen donator is punching my door gotta go

 **Do not limp**  

*** 

I like your cock 

**What there is not to like**

**Sergio is betting with James about which one of us will bottom first**

**Sergio says you and James says me**  

You friends know no boundaries I’m seriously feeling very disturbed that my privacy is violated in such ways 

 **Why are you talking like this**  

It’s Anto 

My money is with James 

 **And I stand by Sergio**  

We will see

 **Challenge accepted**  

*** 

Day 18

**Babbbbbbbbby**

**I love your selfie**  

I get it Cristiano stop commenting on it or I will block you 

**I will continue on James’ account**

**You can’t block him**  

Not everyone is his bitch I’ll fucking block him too 

**Feisty**

**It would be perfect if you were a redhead**  

Lame

My dad was furious this morning 

Not that he has seen anything but he is not an idiot 

He almost lost it before my mom shooed him out

**He wont come back ever?**

Nah but my mom told him to not to come back until he sorted his priorities out 

She is backing me up 

**That’s really good Leo**

**I’m happy you get the support you deserve from your family even if it is late and it is not complete**

Yeah I wouldn’t think she would choose me over him because she isn’t exactly the most open-minded person on the planet but she has the mother’s heart 

**I understand**

**Of course she wouldn’t leave you out there**

**Of course she loves you and whether or not she is struggling with the idea, she wont risk hurting you**

Well I made it clear that this was her last chance and I’m glad to see she took it to heart because I was serious 

 **You scare me sometimes**  

I’m just a little boy 

I wouldn’t be

 **Not quantity but the quality**  

Teacher is warning me to get on with it 

Do you believe the children should be educated on sex in schools 

 **Yes so that they cant catch HIV or get pregnant**  

How eloquent

Do you prefer sweety or fruity or fresh smells 

**Perfumes?**

In general

**Fruity I guess I have never thought about it**

What would you change with the world? 

**I would want to erase poverty from earth because once people have a full stomach and a warm house and feel safe, they will try to make favours to the world they live in too**

It would be a start I guess 

Good point 

What do you think of teenage Tv shows? 

**My sister watches Gossip Girl and that A show like mad and I only see them in those times**

**They are pretty stupid but exciting at the same time can you imagine lving their life so cool**

**I want to be serena**

Blair is smarter tho 

 **But serena is the most beautiful**  

Nate is better come on 

**Serena has the most amazing legs**

It is true but Nate is gorgeous and chair is otp, if I couldn’t be Nate I would be either of the 

 **Chair is what**  

Don’t mind me

**You are weird**

I ship them so hard

 **What the fuck you are talking bout**  

Just forget that conversation happened

 **“One True Pair” huh?**  

It is so us 

We even have shippers

**Riiiight**

**James being out number one fan**  

And Sergio is a fandom leader 

 **I’m not even questioning anymore**  

That’s the best

Have you forgiven yourself for the worst thing you have done to someone?

 **Yes**  

What was it if you don’t mind me asking? 

**It was the Irina thing**

**She is really important to me**  

oh okay 

But it is all good now no need to beat yourself up anymore

 **It’s not actually all good she is still using me as her slave**  

Femdom 

 **You are freaking me out**  

Sorry 

But you have to get used to it 

If you think you can handle me

 **You sound like a forty five year old single woman who is pretending like she is single because she is so hardcore rather than that no one wants to be with her**  

You are really mean you could be one once you get old

 **Wont you be there to relieve my loneliness**  

I’m not ready for commitment yet

**You will be once you set your eyes on me**

**You will try to make me sign the wedding papers between sex marathons**  

I need to find a new tactic you are one step ahead of me 

Do you think Pep Guardiola is hot? 

 **Is this on your list?**  

Yes

 **Shame on you**  

I agree

 **The answer is no**  

Liar

**No, really, absolutely, certainly, without a doubt no**

**But you find him hot obviously**

**Would bend over for him**  

Maybeeeeee 

He is fit 

 **Barcelona fans lol**  

I’ll see you later the fan of the trophyless club 

 **I think you need to reconsider you word choices leo (Message failed.)**  

(Disconnected.) 

*** 

are you wearing your shorts like that on purpose

to show off?

**I can’t have ridiculous tan lines**

Why would you try so hard for that

Maybe you are not as confident as you try to seem

**I won’t mess up with a 10/10 body**

I would

**When did you get so cocky**

After you sent me that pic in the morning

I want another one

 **I’m in showers**  

Perfect position come on it wont get better than that 

 **I cant actually go out and take my phone and get in again they would eat me alive and make fun off me until my ears bleed**  

The do it after you shower 

 **I’ll think about it**  

Bitch 

 **(Image)**  

your abs I’m drooling

how many sit ups you have to do to have them every day

 **More than two hundred every day**  

Whatever 

You do that and I’ll just enjoy it 

Hey now drop that fucking towel 

 **What got you so horny**  

I’m alone at home 

I have to make the best of it 

 **(Image)**  

And your ass

**(Image)**

**Can I get in back to shower now to finish what you started**  

Yes why not I wont be replying to you anyways 

 **Rude rude rude**  

***

Do you wax? 

 **No?**  

Yes? 

 **I shave**  

This is not shaving I know shaving when I see one 

 **Fine sometimes I do**  

Well I don’t 

 **Okay?**  

Good

**Did you worry about this**

**Did you really think I would mind**  

I don’t know I just thought someone who put this much effort in being hairless would mind

 **You don’t even have chest hair Leo how hairy you can be at most**  

I do 

Look 

(Image)

**I had to squint**

Take a closer look 

(Image) 

**Okay Leo you have very manly chest hair**

It was time you admitted it 

My father hasn’t come back yet 

Mom is mysteriously quiet 

**Make her prepare your favourite meal trust me it will make her feel better**

That’s the weirdest advice I got ever but makes sense in a way 

**Try it**

**I’m going to sleep but keep me updated**

Sleep well princess

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos, criticism or compliments, I'm open to it all ;)


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for typos and grammar mistakes. (And for the long wait.)
> 
> Hope you enjoy the chapter! :)

**Good morning babe**

Shut up whore

 

***

 

You ruined my sleep watch your back shithead

 

**You waste your days waking up late**

**My mom’s more excited than me to see you**

**She has her suspicions that my room will witness some sexiness**

 

Stop putting ideas in your mother’s head

 

It’s so embarrassing I can’t look at her face knowing this

 

**She has known far more inappropriate things don’t worry**

 

I don’t care start talking about me in a bro way

 

Like you would talk about Sergio

 

**Can’t**

**It’s too late**

**I swooned one too many times**

I hate you

 

I’ll be blushing all the time

 

**I can’t wait**

You are horrible

 

**You love it admit it you love me teasing**

 

Where did you get the idea it’s totally wrong

 

**Liar liar liar**

**I’ll take you to BArnabeu**

 

You will think that you are taking me there but I’ll just leave you

 

And you will look like an absolute idiot

 

**You have no choice about this**

**Just be glad I’m not Sergio**

**Horrible things are awaiting for your weird friends**

 

Don’t talk shit about my friends I’ll hang your head

 

**He is weird**

**Weird weird**

**Soooo weird**

Shut up you are ridiculous

 

**I want to call you it’s been too long since I heard your sexy voice**

 

Seriously there hasn’t been a day when you didn’t gross me out with your cheesy flirting

 

**“BABY PLEASE TALK TO ME YOUR VOICE IS A GIFT FROM HEAVEN!”**

 

“Be quiet, I’m in library.”

 

**“Ooh, is my Leo afraid that someone might hear what I say?”**

 

“Yes. I refuse to let anyone know that fate has given me someone like you to share this project with.”

 

**“Someone as hot as I am. Of course, you wouldn’t want them to get jealous and ruin your good luck.”**

 

“So vain, Cristiano, so very vain.”

**“I’ve heard that one.”**

 

“What a shock. Why that might be?”

 

**“We are on the same page. What do you do in library in this hours?”**

 

“I didn’t know you couldn’t go to a library ‘in this hours’?”

 

**“Baby, you can’t form words properly unless you sleep ten hours, there has to be a reason you are there at ten o’clock.”**

 

“I have to prepare my homework. I need it to be done in two hours.”

 

**“Then why are talking to me?”**

 

“I’m bored. Keep me entertained.”

 

**“Would it entertain you if I told you your team is going to get eliminated spectacularly next week?”**

 

“You wish. It won’t happen but even if it does it is because you somehow conspired against us. Probably killed some of our best players and placed them with guys you found on street.”

**“That’s exactly how bad they play, I suppose. Nice insight from fellow fans.”**

 

“We don’t need referees who ignores every harsh tackle we do to win the games.”

 

**“What about referees who doesn’t ignore every dive you do but instead gives free kicks to you either?”**

 

“Look who is talking! I saw you dive three times just the last game.”

**“Lies. They just keep kicking me and they get away with it. I don’t wish injuries on anyone but they need to taste their own venoms too. I wonder if they would continue this if they knew.”**

 

“Just don’t go on a killing spree right now. Do it after I’m satisfied enough to survive six sexless months.”

 

**“You won’t want to spend a day without sex after you sleep with me. Probably stay in Madrid and beg to move in with-“**

“Never gonna happen dick.”

 

**“Shh! You’ll beg to move in with me and who am I to deny get to know you like that-“**

 

“Shut up or I’m hanging up.”

**“Oh and you will be my trophy wife.”**

 

“You need to be famous before you can get a trophy wife.”

 

**“I’m an exception. You’ll be a wag to be more exact and look pretty in matches. Pretty much every Spanish girls’ dream.”**

 

“Lucky me. And I didn’t even have to do anything.”

 

**“So damn right. You’ll form a semi-private society where you can pretend like you like each other, when actually you all will be making snarky comments that your boy is the best.”**

 

“Lucky me again. I really have the best.”

 

**“So do I. Not anyone ever fed my ego like you.”**

 

“You last instagram post is horrible.”

 

**“Hey!”**

 

“I’m just telling the truth.”

 

“ **Seriously? Isco took that photo and James said I look absolutely astonishing.”**

 

“That should have been the first clue. You should always take into consideration that James might be sarcastic.”

 

**“God, okay, I’m deleting it. You better be telling the truth, I don’t want to waste a good shoot.”**

 

“It’s not a good shoot come on.”

**“Fiiiiine. Wait a second… Done.”**

 

“Congratulations. Now do tell me, why are you not in class?”

 

**“Because I wanted to call you.”**

 

“I would make an aww sound if I didn’t know you better.”

**“Apparently you don’t know me all too well. My absence from class is all about you and your erotic voice.”**

 

“My erotic what? You need help, you need fucking help. Cristiano has anyone ever told you that you have very scandalous ways to voice your thoughts?”

 

**“Such a prude. I’m just honest, I was looking for the right adjective to explain your voice and erotic suited it one hundred per cent.”**

 

“You have been looking for the word ‘erotic’? You need to consider twice before you kick a ball with your head because obviously it’s killing your neurons.”

**“Baby I love it when you praise my intelligence.”**

 

“Someone needs to do it.”

 

**“My hero. I need to get back to the class, the break is almost over.”**

 

“Bitch.”

 

(Call disconnected.)

 

 

***

Day 19

**The last two hours without your company was agonising.**

 

I imagine so. You don’t have hobbies other than obsessing over me.

 

**What is better than you? Curling, piano or hiking?**

**NOTHING BABY NOTHING**

 

 

**It’s a tight competition.**

 

I’m honoured.

 

The best football player in the world finds me as entertaining as football

 

And sexier

 

Obviously

 

**I wonder sometimes**

**What you do in your free times**

 

Is this your way of asking me what should we do when I come to Madrid

**Yes**

 

I read and play football sometimes

 

Usually follow antonella around

 

**I see**

**Is she coming too**

 

No

 

**Thank god she has been pestering me**

 

Your friends message me too

**Not to threaten you I like my balls in their rightful place I don’t need her to fix them**

**Pass it on**

 

She has a thing with threatening guys about their balls

 

She said testicles right

**Yes my eyes popped out I didn’t know that word still existed**

 

She helps it live

 

**She has kinks I’m telling you**

 

I need to ask you to stop putting ideas in my head it’s gross

 

**I should start putting ideas about myself then**

 

I have enough thanks

 

Tho I don’t know one thing

 

**Ask away your highness**

 

It would have been awkward to ask thing but you wiped every kind of boundary

 

Have you ever been with a boy

**Uhh no**

Okay I guessed so

 

Any sexual intercourses?

 

**Not really**

 

If you don’t count dry humping as goal celebrations

 

So you are inexperienced in male-male area

 

**Yeah**

**Is it a problem**

 

How the fuck do you know you are interested in boys then

 

**How did you know I don’t need to try it to know**

 

Well I didn’t know I discovered it

**I kissed a boy**

 

Who

 

**Jealous**

 

Not really

**Riiiight**

**It was james**

**A dare while squad thought we were dating**

**It was nice**

 

Fuck you

 

**Jealous now**

 

Not at all

 

Just shut up and ask your questions

**You are the one for me don’t worry**

 

Shut up

 

I thought you guys were just friends now every word has another meaning

 

**It doesn’t?**

**The fact that it never happened again after that should be enough to convince you we are really just friends**

 

It was enough for you to understand you had interest in men

**It had nothing to do with that I had known before that**

 

Whatever

 

Just ask your questions

 

I’M busy today

**Oh really now you are giving me a cold shoulder**

 

Funny thing is that you think somebody else other than you cant be busy

 

Get over it

 

**Oh my fucking god**

**You are so ridiculous**

**You weren’t so busy three minutes ago when you were questioning me about my sexual experiences**

 

Now I am

 

**JUST**

**ONE**

**KISS**

**And it wasn’t even initiated but either of us**

 

**I didn’t imagine you as a jealous person**

 

Well you are right for the first time

 

**Leo**

**It meant nothing more than any other kiss from any other girl**

**Other than it was friendlier and less sexy and he was cleaner**

 

Whatever

**We’re good?**

 

I said whatever

 

**You seemed so cool and composed all the time I’m glad you cracked**

 

Shut up

 

**Fiiine**

**Baby :*********

**How much water do you drink a day?**

Don’t know. I drink only when I get thirsty.

 

**I bet your pee is never clear**

 

 

**Gross**

 

Your fault

**Do you have any collections?**

 

Key-chains

 

Maybe postcards

 

**Leo**

**So cute**

**Show them to me sometime**

 

If you have free time between snogging your friends sure

 

**Are we back to this**

 

We will always be back to this

**So there will be our future and us**

**Fine don’t answer**

**What should kids read?**

 

Fantasy.

 

Trying to make them read classics are useless they’ll get bored

 

Basically any genre that is appropriate for kids are boring for someone that age

 

But fantasy can activate their imagination and teach them about love and friendship and hardships in life

**Words from a harry potter fan**

 

And fan of many others

 

I’ll make you read them

 

Be prepared to spend your million euros on books

 

**Will it help me bring you to bed**

Maybe

 

**I’ll do anything**

 

Whore

**Only for you**

**Does your mom collect useless things?**

 

God if only you knew

 

She keeps my old notebooks

 

And sometimes she opens them and sighs

 

“My little little Leo”

 

like I am a giant now I’m hardly taller than her

 

**aww so cute I would swoon over your young self’s handwriting with her any day**

 

I’m puking excuse me

 

**She’d love me**

 

After the initial shock, maybe.

 

**I knooow**

**Which one do you hate more, someone’s breath who just ate garlic or who just ate onion?**

 

Garlic I guess

 

I don’t know both are insufferable but people tend to forget that their breath brings death to innocent after McDonalds

 

**I’ll make sure you are never around me at that times**

 

I though you were all carbohydrate and fat free

 

**Haha of course**

 

I’m shocked

 

But anyways

 

Maybe you should just go and make out with james

 

He’s probably missing your garlic breath

 

**What the fuck**

**(Message failed.)**

*******

**fucker**

 

just joking

 

**I need to catch up to the training**

 

Be good and you’ll see me in your dreams

 

**7/24 I’m thinking of you I can’t escape from it**

 

***

 

**I’m home**

 

You just had a bath be good

**I can take another shower**

 

No

 

**I hate you**

 

So do I

 

***

Be my boyfriend?

 

**Maybe**

 

I’ll kill you

 

**Fine whatever**

 

You are rich anyways

 

And have big dick

 

**Also 10/10**

**I’ll spend all my money for you yacht, pool houses, cars, strippers anything**

**which is earned from Real Madrid as I’ll be a professional footballer for them**

 

Booze

 

**Anything**

 

My kind of life

 

***

 

**Good night boyfriend**

 

Ugh

 

Hope you see your ugly ass team lose champions league final to Barcelona in finals in your dreams

 

**It is called a nightmare and you know what they say**

**The exact opposite will occur**

 

Sleep it’s past nine

 

**Ten**

 

***

I can’t believe you kissed him

 

**It’s one am don’t you have any conscience**

 

I can’t believe you kissed him

 

I can’t believe you kissed him

 

I can’t believe you kissed him

 

I can’t believe you kissed him

 

**I’ll kiss you better now shut up I’ll wake up at five tomorrow**

 

Today you mean

 

**So clever**

 

:*******

 

:*****************

 

:*************************************


	14. Chapter 14

I really hate that you kissed James

 

**It meant nothing Leo**

 

Fucking liar if I hate anyone more than who kisses their best friends, it’s who lies that it meant nothing

 

**Basically I’m your least favourite person on this planet**

 

So you are now admitting that it meant something to you

 

**No but you seem to be sure that it did so i wont try to change your mind about it you are free to beat yourself over it**

 

I hate you

 

I’Ll go kiss neymar so you can crawl on the ploor

 

In pain

 

**Could you stomach that**

 

You on the floor?

 

my aesthetics

 

**Idiot**

**Mom asked me if you would be okay to stay with me and I said yes, he would die to stay with me, in my room, alone, just two of us**

**When’s your flight btw arent you supposed to be out by now?**

 

It’s at 1 pm I’m already at school be online at 9 am sharp I cant be late because of you whore

**Will be there princess**

 

Day 20

 

9.01

 

**9.00 here**

 

you have to do thing according to me

 

**forgive me**

**but arent you better off just asking your questions instead of bitching to me**

 

I’ll decide that

 

What are you expecting of the next few days?

 

Be appropriate.

**I’ll save the sex for the bedroom yes**

**A lot of fun obviously and to see you in person, show you pieces from my life**

 

This answer could’ve been far more impressive if you ever gave a thought about it

**I’ll prove it to you that I indeed thought about this**

You better

 

Do you think this project was useful?

 

**Yes, even tho I was certainly against it at first.**

I know

 

Have your opinions changed about Barcelona?

**I didn’t have much opinion in the first place and let’s be honest, my opinion about your shitty club wont ever change**

 

You are shit

 

Are you excited to see the person you’ll meet?

 

**Fucking yes but do you realise these questions are all the same.**

The answers could change if you had imagination

 

**Then you’d call me hypocrite**

Right

 

So we don’t have a last question

 

Because we hope that there will not a last question in our relationship, that we will be able to continue talking and seeing each other

**Aww nice thought**

 

Barcelona does that

 

**Well Madrid is waiting for you so forget about your little city for a while**

 

**And don’t you dare to die on the plane I planned my schedule for ya**

 

Pray so the plane wont crash

 

**Will do off to the church**

 

**See you in a few hours**

 

See you <3

 

***

**Have a safe flight**

 

Why I didn’t know you cared

**Leo**

 

Fİiiiine

 

Thank you don’t piss yourself while waiting for me

**Now that you mentioned**

**(Message failed.)**

 

***

Leo has never felt more awkward in his life. And it meant something, considering he needs two bodyguards, one fake girlfriend and five encouraging slaps on his butt before he talks in front of class. He is one minute of hyperventilating away from turning back and begging one of the passengers to hide him in their luggage on their way to Barcelona.

 

He is seriously considering it, far gone in his panicked thoughts, not aware that his so-called friends made a circle around him to prevent him from running away.

 

Fortunately, or unfortunately, depends on where you are looking from, Madridistas appear. Leo’s vision blurs for a moment, victim of his height, when everyone screams, some screams because of joy to see people they were so eager to meet, some of them being battle cries.

 

He tries to keep it cool and he is slaying it if you ask for his opinion but then Sergio fucking Ramos sees him.

 

“Leo!” he yells running up to him sideways, with Neymar pulling his t-shirt from behind with a determined look on his face but Sergio is far heavier and stronger than he is.

 

Leo definitely doesn’t like the look on his face, he has seen this so many times, that smirk, that adoration, that glint in his eyes, from Geri, from David, from Javier, from Victor. He is going to get carried.

 

“No fucking way,” he mutters to himself and turns back, running away with all his power, leaving all of his belongings on the floor, just to escape Sergio’s overly muscled arms.

 

He is pushing people around, he is almost lost in the crowd, his small figure almost unrecognisable. It would be a much better victory if he had anything with him.

 

He huffs in annoyance, hands on his hips and he knows he has this newest bitch face on. He cranes his neck to spot his crowd but there are too many heads in the way and he just won’t step on the chairs to see them. There is a line.

 

Someone grabs his waist at that moment, and with a gentle push behind his knees, his legs give away. It is the first time Leo understands what they mean when they say time slows sometimes. He senses every single detail clearly, how that disgusting that man’s pants colour is, or how that blonde child’s endless cries abruptly stops, or how that girl brings her hand to her nose discreetly, looking around to see if anyone watching.

 

He doesn’t fall though, or he is already dead because there is not a chance that floor is warm and smells clean. And also not a chance that it suddenly grows arms to wrap around him securely.

 

“Leo,” says a voice, a voice he became accustomed to in a very short time. He knows what his tones mean, he had to learn and his tone, this stupid, infuriating tone means he is getting teased about this a lot.

 

He won’t open his eyes, he won’t look at his stupid smirk before blood leaves his face and he feels like a human instead of a volcano ready to burst out. “One word about this ever and I’ll fucking slash your throat Cristiano,” he says neutrally, or tries to because it is hard not to sound so fucking embarrassed when he feels Cristiano’s chest shake with the laughter he is hardly keeping in.

 

“I’ll tie you to bed,” Cristiano counters back, his mouth near the shorter one’s ear and he clenches his jaw to ignore that they are finally this close and he is getting affected even before he sees him.

 

He hums noncommittally and Cristiano laughs again. “Open your eyes,” he says softly, like he is asking for a favour but Leo won’t be fooled, he reminds himself.

 

“Let me down first,” he grumbles but doesn’t try to unlock himself from his arms.

 

“I’d do that if you want, but you’d have to let go of my neck,” he says and Leo’s eyes snap open, only to widen in horror when he sees he indeed has his arms around his neck.

 

He unwraps his arms like it burned and Cristiano has to balance them before they both end up at the floor. He gently lets go of him and Leo finally feels like he can act coolly again, if he ever was that.

 

He couldn’t be more wrong.

 

Because Cristiano is grinning at him like an idiot, bigger than the ones in his selfies and it should look ridiculous but Leo feels a smile take over his face too. They stare at each other for a second there frozen with enormous smiles that is sure to make their faces ache if it stays there for a long time but then Leo can’t handle the intense giddiness anymore and he fake coughs as he turns his head to the side to hide his blush.

 

Cristiano chuckles at that and puts his hand on Leo’s back to guide him back to place. Leo is scandalised when he realises that he couldn’t get away at all but Cristiano doesn’t seem to be aware of it.

 

“I don’t blame you from running away from Sergio,” he says, ignoring eager wave from Sergio, who is being hit on the head by Neymar. Leo doesn’t know when they have become comfortable enough with each other but he has to admit it is a very enjoyable sight to see two stupid people being stupider with each other’s presence.

 

“He was going to lift me,” he says. “Like you did.”

 

“How thoughtful of you. I would be so heartbroken,” he says seriously, a slight pout gracing those full lips. Leo’s eyes stay there without his consent and only leaves when it becomes a knowing smirk.

 

He smacks Cristiano’s arm, gets his phone out of his backpack, rolling his eyes, “Not a word about this either.”

 

“So we are acknowledging it.”

 

“No, not at all. Be quick, you are carrying my bags.”

 

“Are you moving in or something?” Cristiano says, as he easily lifts it off the floor and began walking with his earlier pace like he doesn’t have extra weight in his hand.

 

“Shut up, I have my laptop there. I would rather drop it to the sea before I left it at home.”

 

“Porn archive?” he asks cheekily, earning another eye roll.

 

“I told you I don’t watch porn,” he says, his lips quivering at the end as they reach Neymar and Sergio. Leo sighs as inevitable happens and Sergio hugs him fiercely, patting the top of his head. “You are smaller than I thought,” he coos. Leo sends him a dirty look, “You look more like a horse than I thought.”

 

Sergio barks out a laugh before Leo can feel guilty. He is pushed inside the car, next to Neymar who is regarding Cristiano suspiciously as he places their bags in the trunk. He makes a mental note to warn him to get on well with Cristiano.

 

He doesn’t have to suffer watching his friend make a fool of himself too long as Cristiano orders him to get in with a tilt of his head. Leo bites his lips to refrain from smiling but it proves to be impossible when Cristiano winks at him through the mirror.

 

Sergio and Neymar are bickering loudly, with some words enough to drive two countries in a war but they look so happy and pleased insulting each other that Leo just tunes them out rather than stop them and stares out.

 

The lack of sleep catches up on him and he is almost asleep when his phone buzzes in his pocket. He sighs, squeezing his hand into his pocket to get it out but it is a very hard task, maybe he gained weight.

 

It’s Anto and he knows what she wants before he opens the message.

 

“How’s he?”

 

“Very smiley. His face is going to split in two very soon.” It is not a lie.

 

“Hot?”

 

“You have no idea.”

 

“Go get it boy. Be sure to use condom and lube.”

 

“Yeah yeah. See you in two days. Don’t interact with me unless you are dying or pregnant.”

 

“Leo?” Cristiano ‘s voice distracts him. Three pairs of eyes are looking at him expectantly and that’s when he knows he missed a lot of conversation.

 

“Sorry, come again?” he says innocently as he can muster but no one is fooled by his puppy face and Neymar bites on his shoulder. He shrieks as he punches Neymar in the ribs, making him double over and gasp for a breath.

 

“You have been spending too much time with Luis,” he accuses him silently and he gets a middle finger in return. “If you’d just pay attention to us instead of talking to her.”

 

“She is just making sure I’m okay,” he lies through his teeth but he doesn’t raise his head to look into anyone’s eyes.

 

“Right,” Neymar snorts, straightening his tshirt. “She was checking on you. Not asking details about Cristiano. Like anyone believes that shit.”

 

Leo’s face flares immediately and he punches Neymar again. “You have become so violent. Where did my little, soft Leo go?” he whines, rubbing his arm, getting away from his friend.

 

“You killed him,” Leo hisses dramatically. “And now he is back for revenge.”

 

Cristiano chuckles at that and reminds of the other two people’s presence. Leo shakes his head to gain his composure, then remembers why this ever started. “What were you asking me?”

 

“We are eating lunch out if it’s okay with you,” Cristiano says flashing him a quick smile before he turns his attention back to the road.

 

He is so different and same at the same time, Leo thinks. He is still mischievous, still flirty but he is also more mature and calming than he expected.

 

“Yeah, whatever works for you.”

 

The smile Cristiano sends over his shoulder is enough to force him close his eyes to control his bodily reactions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget to leave a comment :)


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just imagine some random girl clapping herself in front of a mirror. That’s me. I finally finished this story after making you guys wait for two months. This story is finished just like I planned, I was almost sure it was going to be 15-16 chapters at most because I only intended this to be a "Friend to lovers" type of story, though it wasn't totally that, it was close.
> 
> I want to thank everyone who read this story as I wrote and commented because I know I wouldn’t be able to finish if it weren’t for your encouragements. I hope you guys like it! :*

When it comes to expressing emotions, Cristiano doesn’t know the best. It took him a lot of time to acknowledge that, he doesn’t usually act appropriately or he doesn’t know how to understand how other feel. He hated that he had this somewhat crucial flaw but he made peace with that over the years.

 

Or he thought. After he was done with pitying himself over having one tiny problem, he decided that one should love him as he is, even if he can’t be affectionate in right times easily.

 

Though that is not actually the problem. He has no problem showing affection, he has been hugging and kissing James since he could purse his lips and move his arms. He is fine with slinging his arms around Sergio’s shoulder and he doesn’t mind when Iker slaps his butt before matches. He likes it when Fabio styles his hair, and when Karim gives his piggy rides and he still lets his mum kiss him in public.

 

He doesn’t have a problem with it because they are all returned. James may not find him as adorable as he does but he knows he is kind of James’ idol. When he hugs Sergio from behind, he knows Sergio won’t be bothered. And well, his mom adores him.

 

He doesn’t know how to behave with Leo. Yet. Yes, Leo might have seen his dick and his ass but he hasn’t. But that’s actually not the point. They might have been talking non stop for more than two weeks and they were looking forward to meeting each other and they flirted all the time but he doesn’t actually knows Leo and he is too afraid to fuck it up.

 

The fact that Leo is dozing off doesn’t help the matters. Sergio and Neymar’s banter is amusing but he can’t laugh and enjoy as much as he would do in a normal day. Because Leo is frantically typing on his phone and paying absolutely no attention to them.

 

The following words exchanged brighten his mood, relieved that Leo is actually thinking about him too. He knows he should be more sympathetic because even if Leo was trying to not to show it, Cristinao knows that the position he is in with his father stresses him out and it’s still on his mind all the time.

 

He turns his attention back to road fully when he makes sure Leo is okay with having the lunch out, not that he had any doubts but he is still wary around him, after teasing him and joking with him for quite some time.

 

He parks his car in front the restaurant, to the last parking place and he earns a nasty glance from the old man in the other car who was trying to steal his well-earned place. Sergio winks and waves at the man and Cristiano can see the exact moment the man gets really flustered and slaps Sergio’s hand.

 

“If he crashes my car while we are in the restaurant, you are buying me a some expensive shit,” he grumbles. “You’ve been warned.”

 

“Such a gold digger,” Leo mutters with a straight face, not even a trace of smile on his face. Cristiano thinks he means it for a second, even though he heard this tone many times over the phone, it is different.

 

He puffs when it hits him that Leo is just joking. “Please. I can find someone richer than him in a day. The only thing I have to do is to sway my ass a little, and flutter my eyelashes.”

 

The tip of Leo’s mouth quivers slightly but it’s enough to relax Cristiano’s tense shoulders. “I can’t imagine anyone could stay indifferent to your moves.”

 

“You know it better than anyone else.”

 

Leo freezes for a second and averts his gaze, a blush taking over his pale skin. He opens the door with bustling hands, refusing to answer him at any costs. Neymar chuckles at his friend and Cris thinks he hears Leo mumbles “shut up.”

 

He waits for Leo to catch up after Sergio and Neymar start walking in front of them. Their voices becomes unclear by every second Leo prolongs approaching Cris.

 

“Come on Leo,” Cristiano says, with a encouraging smile on his face, his hand is stretched out and under his easy attire, Leo can sense he is nervous about this whole thing too, so he gulps around the knot in his throat and entwines their fingers.

 

If Leo ever thought he’d feel awkward with PDA, he was definitely wrong because skin to skin contact is delightful and comfortable and no one’s paying attention to them anyway.

 

“I guaranteed to have you in my room,” Cristiano says, with a smirk that looks like it can split his face in two. Leo rolls his eyes, “I’m not going to be able to look your mother in the eye.”

 

Cristiano waves his free hand before he pushes the door open and an old man behind the counter greets him brightly. “She’ll make you a bed on the floor, she doesn’t realise you will be beside me so you can warm my feet if they get cold.”

 

Leo snorts, pushing him with his shoulder. “No fucking way. I’m going to stay away from your bed respectively far away. Whose ass touched it, I can’t possibly know.”

 

“Why is your longest speech is about my bed being dirty?”

 

“I never said dirty. I wouldn’t insult your mother like that because I’m sure she is the one who is washing your sheets.”

 

“He’s jealous,” Neymar intervenes, and Leo pulls his earlobe and gives it a twist, earning a yelp from his friend. He turns to Cristiano hastily, “He wasn’t a fucking savage before he met you.”

 

Cristiano puffs, shrugging. “I’m life altering.”

 

“You really do have a thing for arrogant ones,” Neymar says to Leo, as Cristiano straightens to glare at Leo. “Did your friend just compare me to The Dick?”

 

Sergio and Neymar both look lost at his remark but Leo just pats Cris on the forearm. “You’ll survive. I was quite taken with him anyway.”

 

“I don’t want to be compared with someone who has soul patch!”

 

“Oh, him and Villa need to meet,” Neymar whispers not so quietly. Cristiano gives him a blank look but he doesn’t look bothered as he takes his phone out to take a selfie with Sergio.

 

Lunch is naturally, to put it mildly, chaotic. Four people who have way too many shit to throw at each other, so when it’s over Cristiano is actually surprised everyone’s head is in place.

 

“I can’t believe everyone’s in one piece,” Leo mutters as they drop their friends off. Cristiano crack a smile, “I was just thinking the same thing.”

 

He glances at his phone to check his messages and flinches when he sees three missed calls from his mother. He calls back, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel.

 

“Yes, Mom?” he asks when his call is taken, and even Leo cringes at the angry tone of his mother even though it’s not directed at him.

 

“She’s been worried,” Cristiano says with a relieved sigh. “Wants us to be back at home for dinner, apparently she has some errands to run now.”

 

“Okay,” Leo nods because to be honest he doesn’t have any reason to object to any plan Cristiano will provide him.

 

Or… He might.

 

“Well then, we are going to Bernabéu,” Cristiano says and starts the car before he can say anything. “What do you think, that I’ll turn into a madridista?”

 

“Please,” he laughs, “being a madridista is a lifestyle, you gotta get used to being best first. So I’m merely showing you how superior Real is to Barcelona.”

 

“You are bringing the enemy inside the ranks, warning you right here.”

 

“You wouldn’t. After all, who are going to fawn over if I’m miserable and get fat?”

 

“I’m sure David would be enough.”

 

“Hey,” Cristiano exclaims. “Don’t speak of the devil.”

 

Leo’s shoulders shake with laughter because it’s way too entertaining to watch Cristiano get flustered just by the mention of his name. “I only have eyes for you Cristiano.”

 

Cristiano beams for a second before he narrows his eyes at Leo suspiciously. “I smell scheming.”

 

“Absolutely not,” Leo shakes his head earnestly, an innocent smile illuminating his face.

 

“I’m not falling for it. We are still going to the holy grounds.”

 

“Obviously you are not that blind in love,” he says but almost chokes when he finishes his words _because he did not just say in love._

 

He wants the ground to swallow him and burn him until even his ashes disappear. He coughs and looks anywhere but at Cristiano, like streetlights were so different than it is in Barcelona.

 

Cristiano doesn’t comment on it but the words are still in the air and Leo still want to disappear into another universe but it’s not fucking happening and he just breaths deeply, so his brain will get enough oxygen.

 

That must be it. He needs oxygen. İf he got enough, he wouldn’t have said it, he tries to open the window but it’s locked and he still doesn’t have the courage to look at Cristiano, so he leans back with all of his muscles tense, ready to strike at any movement.

 

Cristiano opens the window and warm air fills the car, as does the noise of children getting out of the school.

 

“I used to go there,” Cristiano breaks the silence and Leo’s head snaps back to see the school clearly. He chuckles, “I can’t imagine a time when you were that small.”

 

When Cristiano opens his mouth after sending him a cheeky smile, Leo slaps his shoulder jokingly, “No word about me being small.”

 

Cristiano pulls the car aside and Leo looks around to see the stadium but fails. He is still looking around stupidly when Cristiano knocks his knuckles on the window to snap Leo out of it. “Wanna come out?”

 

Leo gets off, “Already have.”

 

Cristiano pushes him ahead, “We don’t have time for such outrageous jokes. Pull yourself together Leo.”

 

“It’s not my fault that you can’t enjoy puns.”

 

“That wasn’t even a pun!”

 

“You have no taste,” Leo shakes his head with fake disappointment. “Where is the stadium?”

 

“I was joking. I have no intention to rub our perfection in your face. I thought we could roam around the city,” he says and grabs Leo’s hand again.

 

They draw more attention this time because Cristiano is loud and Leo is loud to laugh at his ridiculous jokes. Cristiano sometimes takes a wild turn, doesn’t caring if Leo swings to the floor, using it as an excuse to draw him closer that in the end he is tightly secured under his arm, their hands linked on Leo’s shoulder.

 

“Do you know how to get back to your car?” Leo muses because after some time every corner looks same to him, but Cristiano looks sure of himself, which isn’t enough confirmation because Cristiano is always like that.

 

“I know this city like the back of my hand,” he says as he turns left when he doesn’t expect again and then he is pressed against his car.

 

Leo lets out an unbelieving laugh and Cristiano smiles at his reaction and takes his face in his hands, pressing his warm lips to his cheekbones. “You need to laugh every second,” he whispers as Leo wraps his arms around Cristiano’s waist and draws him even closer.

 

He can’t help but chuckle at his words and it earns him another kiss, near his mouth and Leo suddenly doesn’t find it funny at all, because his heart picks up a new pace, one he is not used to at all.

 

Cristiano nips at his lower lip, making Leo’s fingers sink painfully to his flesh but he doesn’t even realise it as their lips touch for the first time. The kiss carries the hesitancy he expected but God, all those times the dreamed about kissing Leo, he didn’t expect to go blind, deaf to everything around him but the body pressed against him. He tangles his fingers into Leo’s soft hair and depends the kiss, urging Leo to part his lips so he can taste him, code every feel of him to his memory so he’ll have something to give him hope through every disaster that might come.

 

But then a hand shakes his shoulder and he ignores it for the sake of kissing him for few more moments but the hand is insistent. He unwillingly tears himself apart from him to turn his head to tell that person to go mind their own fucking business but he freezes when he sees that the said person is in fact, his mother.

 

“Mother,” he chokes out and after that he starts laughing manically because he can bet his life that Leo would choose death over this, considering he is shaking like leaves under him right now.

 

“Mama,” he tries again when he shakes the first wave of shock off himself. “This is Leo.”

 

“I see, darling,” she says seriously, pushing her son aside to kiss the shorter boy on both cheeks who still look petrified to feel shame. “Welcome to Madrid, Leo. I’m glad I came across to you, I don’t think I could’ve handled metro after all.”

 

Cristiano opens the front door for Leo to sit, biting his lip not to laugh at the silent groan. His mother doesn’t take pity on him and gets straight to the point. “You never told me Leo was your boyfriend!” she exclaims as Leo makes distinct drowning sounds.

 

“We didn’t want to put labels mama,” he chuckles. “Besides, let Leo live, we would be guilty if he died of a heart attack here. He doesn’t look well right now.”

 

She huffs, “If he dies of heart attack it will be out of intense pleasure. That was some scene you two pulled.”

 

Leo groans and dips harder into his seat and covers his red face, tries to ignore Cristiano’s attempts to calm him.

 

“Ah, Leo, darling, don’t be like that. You can’t imagine how happy I am to see Cristiano decided to settle down with someone like you,” she says mischievously and Cristiano protests at her dramatic words. She ignores him, “You should hear how he talks about you. I can say I’m your biggest shipper,” she says, putting a calming hand on his shoulder.

 

That’s what brings Leo out of his embarrassment and he turns back in shock to ask, “You ship us?”

 

“Of course,” she throws his hands up in the air. “You are my ultimate otp. I can’t believe my own son hid from me that it was real.”

 

Cristiano groans and curses himself for introducing his mother to tumblr. He deserved this.

 

But he is not sure if he deserves this good-hearted, kind guy’s love. Maybe he just needs to make sure he does in the future. It’s fucking worth it any day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven't been to Madrid so those parts are ridiculously vague. But anyways, what you guys think? :)
> 
> (And if you wanna know what Leo wants to be, take a guess or just ask me.)


End file.
